The Rutgers defense makes my eyes bleed

Unbelievable. Atrocious. Incomprehensible. Mind-bogglingly incompetent. Flormpondible. It was a complete meltdown recalling pathetic Rutgers teams of the late ’90s and early 2000s, and words truly must be invented to describe the way the team gave this game away. It even teased us with some big plays here and there, only to hand an easy first down to the Cardinals on the next play. It was almost like they felt bad for completely shutting them down in the second half in 2006, so they allowed them to have their moment. Fuck. Bullshit. It was incredible to watch the team play as well as it had all season for much of the first half, then completely lose everything when they had to make some big plays. Unreal. This was nothing short of a reprehensible performance with a chance to finish the season with a winning record in Big East play. That did not happen, and it shouldn’t have happened with what transpired out on that field in Louisville tonight. Luckily, the bowl game is more than a month away, because fans might need all that time and more to recover after the showing they just witnessed. All I know is that I’m not feeling so bad about the bowl game being against a MAC opponent now - at this point, it might be the best chance Rutgers has to get a win and close out this hugely disappointing season on somewhat of a positive note. For now, the regular season has unmercifully ended in a game with some truly remarkable parallels to the huge win over Louisville in Piscataway last season. Home team comes back from an 18-point deficit, leaves the opponent shellshocked, hits a short field goal to win. It’s not so nice to be on the other side of those parallels. This was an incredible choke job by a significantly less than incredible team. I don’t think this loss was about “not wanting it badly enough” or some other nauseating hack sportswriter cliche, but it certainly was about not being good enough. Tonight, Rutgers was not good enough to beat Louisville, and in the end, the defense wasn’t good enough to beat a Pop Warner Special Olympics team. Ineptitude all around, and it has got to change before 2008. I will still root for this team, but seriously…what happened out there, guys? What happened out there?

The Targum editorials make my eyes bleed

I believe in freedom of the press. I’m a liberal guy, and I am all for the Bill of Rights, and voicing your opinion. But there’s a fine line between intelligent discourse and a chimpanzee smearing poop all over an easel.

I am talking about a letter in today’s Targum written by one Benjamin R. West. Benjamin uses his middle initial; this makes him either a rich asshole or a serial killer. It’s titled “This is where we should go” (he really had to think about that one) and it just made me dive toward my computer in a blinding fury. Here’s why:

Goby Fish/Shrimp, Egyptian Plover/Crocodile, Banjo/Mario

When Nintendo released Super Mario 64 in 1996, they revolutionized the 3D platform game forevermore. Pretty much everything about it - the scope, the free-roaming nature, the variety of environments - was done the right way and set the standard for everything that followed. Very few things even approached it, but one of the rare games that not only did that, but arguably exceeded it, was Rare’s Banjo-Kazooie, released in 1998. It took the same basic mechanics and playing style and expanded upon them. It received glowing reviews, save for complaints by some that it was a ripoff of Mario. However, in all it was a brilliant game, but it might not have even existed if Mario 64 hadn’t preceded it. The groundwork was in place; all they needed to do was refine it.

I wish I could tell you something

Dear blog,

I have a secret. I really wish I could tell you what it was, but I promised a guy that I wouldn’t. I can’t tell you who the guy is either. He did me a solid, so I’m returning the favor. But believe me… it’s pretty cool.

Pick up the Targum on Thursday. If you read this and have access to a Targum, then you already know what I’m talking about. If not, then don’t worry about it. You are out of my direct circle of coolness, and my achievement is too cool for you. Go read your Fordham Ram or your Kathimerini.

Seeecret.

Ferrell and McKay Deliver Laughs

I am also sorry about the lack of posting, I’ve been really busy with work lately but I’m back and better than ever.  Anyway in my most recent edition of ‘EW’ their was an article about funnyordie.com, the website started by Will Ferrell and writer/director Adam McKay (Talladega Nights, Anchorman).  I’m sure most of you remember the Landlord video with Will Ferrell and McKay’s daughter Pearl.  Anyway, I’m not breaking the news about this website because it’s old news.  I just wanted to give it a little plug because the content is truly funny.  Within the last few months Judd Apatow has joined the team and has been contributing content.  I really think you guys should go check it out, it’s worth it.  See the video Tutors of 826 LA.

We miss you, too

Hey, readers — if there are any of you guys left. I’d like to apologize for our lackluster blogging performance of late.  Glenn and I have both had articles due consistently for our journalism classes and for the Targum, and with that and homework, this old girl has taken a back seat.  But rest assured, we are not dead.  In fact, we are only taking those classes and getting published to refine our blogging skills.  So in the end, you will reap the spoils of our learning process!

I’d like to propose something here… I know I’ve mentioned this before, but how would you all feel if instead of a big post a week, I came on here almost daily with a few thoughts?  They are really opposite ends of the blogging spectrum, so I’d be making a quantum shift in how I work, but I think it might be fun to try.

For now, let me just say this: I’m watching “Guiding Light” on CBS, and they keep referring to it as “American football.”  It’s an American show, let’s just call if football.  Do you really think some 50 year old tough guy, trying to connect with his grandson, would ask, “Do you want me to teach you how to play American football?” Of course not. Ahhh, some big-nosed girl just kissed an Australian!  They previously had a relationship of some sort!  And now a child has some sort of Lassie-like Flipper-like ability to sense danger, and he just stumbled over a line. Guess you couldn’t sense that one, tough guy.

Why I’m not going to the Pitt game

When Rutgers tickets become available for student sign-up, the ticket office sends out an email to all registered students.  I check my email many, many times a day.  I never received a notification that tickets to the Pitt game, the last home game of the season, had gone on sale. Yesterday, I learned that I had already missed the deadline!  So why did this wacky mix up happen?  Because my Rutgers email account filtered email from the Rutgers ticket office as SPAM.

Ax The Chop

www.armynavydeals.com

A slogan was born out of the Rutgers football team’s crushing 33-30 overtime loss to Illinois to begin the 2005 season, and it took on a life of its own - “Keep Choppin’.” It refers to focusing on the task at hand and taking care of business, being above all outside distractions. It served the team well throughout 2005 and 2006 - it even became public and a rallying cry among fans during the ‘06 season.

Aging Comedians Find New Life In Gameshows

This is the unedited version of my article that ran in today’s Targum. The actual article can be found HERE. They spelled my name wrong on the website.

When Bob Barker retired from the hit afternoon game show “The Price Is Right” after nearly 35 years of hosting this past June, he left a crater in the world of television. Barker was a legend, always professional and always pleasant. His replacement would be scrutinized, gone over with a fine-toothed comb by fans. So who else to fill the role on TV Guide’s “greatest game show of all time” than… Drew Carey?

Carey, who is a comedian, creator of the ABC sitcom “The Drew Carey Show,” and former host of the American version of the improv program “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” was certainly a questionable choice to fill Barker’s enormous shoes. Nothing against him – he has always been a funny guy, easily ingestible in small doses, and seemingly friendly to the folks around him. But he just wasn’t Bob Barker. In a way, it would have been impossible to pick someone who could really fit the bill. So the producers decided to do what every single game show has been doing since the aftermath of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”—they hired a comedian beyond his glory days to play the role of host.