You are currently browsing the monthly archive for February, 2008.
I’ve never personally watched an episode of ‘Wizards of Waverly Place’ but I know Selena Gomez. I know she played a bit part in a couple Hannah Montana episodes as rival pop star Mikayla. I know she may be the next big Disney star. I know all of these things. What I didn’t know was that she was in talks to be in the next High School Musical movie. On the High School Musical: Senior year IMDB page it says that she is in talks to play Tiara, and is listed third in the cast credits. I really hope this doesn’t happen. I think it would be a mistake to add a high profile person like her to the cast of a movie that doesn’t need any new additions. I don’t want them to mess with the cast and formula that has worked so great on the first two movies. I don’t really like the idea of adding a new character who might play a big part in the movie. Especially not someone who is already widely known. It’s just my opinion, I’m curious to hear what the other HSM lovers feel about this news.
from cosmogirl.com (I’m so devoted to proper attribution, I’ll even admit that)
Zac Efron: October 18, 1987
Me: October 19, 1987
I can only imagine that if I had been delivered one day earlier, I would be that dreamy. I can only imagine.
We’ve tackled the topic of Miranda Cosgrove on this blog before, but until now I had never seen an episode of iCarly. I’ve come to regret this very much, because after watching it today, I realize that it is basically pornography.
Since I’m not sure of names here, I’ll describe the characters as best I can to put you into the vulgar scene I just witnessed. Blonde girl got a new boyfriend, and they were paying far too much attention to one another. As she approached iCarly and the gay boy, she recieved a text message from her boyfriend. It read: The back of your head is cute.
Young teenagers falling in love has its unavoidable physicality, but should the network responsible for Jamie Lynn Spears really discuss oral sex on a sitcom featuring 12 year olds?
I thought that the storm had cleared after I finished writing my angry letter to Viacom, but I was in for a surprise. It seems that iCarly’s older brother Dane Cook, with whom she lives, was called upon to speak with the children about the pitfalls of young love. He explained to them that when he dated Jenny, he didn’t know that he had poison ivy for two weeks! The children were confused; “How did you find out?” they asked him.
“Well, let’s just say, it spread to certain… parts.” Upon further confusion, Cook leaned in to whisper something into the gay boy’s ear to clarify his already vulgar statement. The boy’s face filled with horror.
It should be assumed that he whispered, “Her vagina.”
I swear to you, this all happened on one episode of a show meant for children. And not on the gross-fest of Ren and Stimpy, nor on the satanism-preaching Wizards of Waverly Place. No, this happened on a show we thought was safe. Executive Producer Dan Schneider’s message is clear — you can never protect your children, no matter how hard you try. So just give up.
I recently wrote a post called I Haven’t Forgotten About You Drake Bell. That was then, that was when I thought the world of him. I had no idea what he was doing at the time, but for some reason I felt it was great. Recently, however, I discovered otherwise. With thoughts that he was probably writing a new catchy tune or filming a new movie with Josh Peck, I uncovered some information that disappointed me to the core. I was reading through my latest Entertainment Weekly magazine, the Spring Movie Preview, and I came across a film titled ‘Superhero Movie‘ starring Drake Bell as Ricky Riker/Dragonfly. I immediately thought of those clowns Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the geniuses behind the films ‘Date Movie’, ‘Epic Movie’, and ‘Meet the Spartans.’ The three worst movies ever. This movie isn’t from those guys, but it is from the guy who brought us ‘RocketMan’ with Harland Williams. So I say to you, Mr. Bell… why? You’re better than this Drake, you owe us more.
hhh
Now I don’t mean to brag, but I consider myself to be above-average appreciator of the female body. So when my main man Tommy (Salami lol) slammed down his latest blog entry about Colbert saying “tits” on television I couldn’t have been more excited (a thousand puns intended). I’m a huge fan of tits, and a fan of huge tits, and all other combinations of the words “fan”, “huge” and “tits” including: “I’m tits for a huge fan!” but I’m almost embarrassed to say there might be something that fascinates me even more than a sweet rack . And you know what the weird part is? I didn’t even know I loved it until I read Tom’s post! Love at first read if you will? You won’t? Well that’s not very fair.
On the February 14th episode of the Colbert Report (I remember the date because it was Valentine’s Day and Pete and I were spending the night together), Stephen was interviewing Leonard Nimoy about his new book The Full Body Project, where he photographed nude women who didn’t fit the mold of society’s stereotype of “beautiful” (read: fatties).
During the interview, Colbert said something along the lines of “We’ve already been told what’s beautiful. Blonde, skinny, big tits.” It shocked me! I wasn’t offended or anything, but I was caught off guard for sure. Can Stephen Colbert say “tits” on the air? It’s one of the 7 Words, and even though I know cable isn’t held to FCC regulaltions, I would think that Comedy Central would basically have the same rules. They let South Park get away with saying it, but thats because advertisers know what they’re getting into when they sign up for that. I’m not trying to raise an alarm here, I’m just showing some concern for Colbert. I hope he didn’t lose any advertising coin because of it.
And I know it was over a week ago, but it was on again tonight and I remembered that I wanted to write about it.
Here’s my review from next week’s inside beat.
Charlie Bartlett
by Tom Wright-Piersanti
6.5/10
Ferris Bueller ruled his high school for reasons never explained in the 1986 comedy. Twelve Twenty-two years later, Charlie Bartlett might have finally found the answer – dealing dope.
If you want to read out blogging fun, click the title or the words below. I promise, if you watched the Oscars, it will be worth your time to read. Is it long? Yeah. But it’s basically written by a child, so there won’t be much wear and tear on your brain once you’re done.
EW / Bob D’Amico
It’s that time again! Tonight I’ll be covering the Oscars live, updating the blog every few minutes with a new juicy paragraph or so on what is going on. If any of you out there don’t own a TV, it will be a great help to you. For the rest of us, just toss the laptop onto the couch and refresh every few minutes so we can all follow along together!
If you are a writer on the blog, I ask that you don’t write any new posts once the live blogging starts, just to keep the main post at the top for anyone trying to find it. Here is how we’ll do it, just like last year: I write my thoughts in here, the main space. Everyone else is encouraged to comment along with the show. The comments are usually the best part of this whole thing, and during breaks in the action I’ll do my best to bring some of the discussion up here. Leave comments, everyone! If you’re a stranger who has been looking to make six new friends, now is your chance!
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That’s a lie, I actually wrote an article about it. See below.
Today I faced a major dilemma. And not your everyday “picking a college” or “telling your parents you’re gay” dilemma. They couldn’t hold a candle to this one. Not even a really small, easily holdable candle. (see chart) And it was over something that you’d never expect. Unless you expected it to be about Time. In that case I hate you and you are no longer invited to my birthday party.
The backstory to the dilemma could not be any simpler:
The situation: A girl asked me what time it was.
The problem: The time on my phone read 6:06pm.
This may not necessarily seem like a problem to the naive fool, but for the first time in my life I didn’t know the answer to a question. Here were the thoughts that were racing through my head:
My sincere apologies go out to anyone who thought this post was about the hit 2000 film Snow Day which had the tagline: “Roads Closed. Schools Shut. Rules Were Made To Be Frozen!”
Even though I actually enjoyed that movie (mostly due to my love for Chevy Chase and Chris Elliot buddy-movies), what I’m really here to touch on is the fact that Rutgers University has a snow day today proving once again that the impossible can be grasped. I also wanted to be the first to break this news here on the blog due to my intense adrenaline that was produced at 6:30 AM when my mom woke me up in grade school fashion to tell me that school was closed. I sprung from my slumber and put on some silly fleece pants (You know the kind. With wacky cartoons on them from Old Navy.) Then I realized that I was insanely awake for 6:30. It would seem that even as a 20 year old man, Snow Days are still fun as hell and I can’t wait to play video games and drink cocoa today!
This is Don of 41MilesToFreedom wishing all affected by the storm a safe and joyous snow day! Get a sled, grab your best gal by the hand, for god’s sake wear your galoshes, and paint the town red! If you’re snowed in, make the best of it!
all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy all work and no play makes don a dull boy
(couldn’t resist)
Watching TV tonight, I saw that The Spiderwick Chronicles was being advertised as “The #1 Family Movie in America!” It got me wondering — what is it, exactly, that designates a movie as “family?”
Last year I did a big write up and picked every single category, this year I’m just going to pick the major ones with a few comments on who I think will win. I’ll give it to you straight though, I haven’t seen a few of the movies so some of these picks are shots in the dark. I haven’t seen Michael Clayton or Atonement so give me a break, I’m giving you the truth.
I’m not a gambling man, at least not a large scale. I’ll get together with the guys once in a while and play a good game of poker in a smoke-filled room, hopefully wearing a pork pie hat (I thought “porkpie” was one word in the case of hats, but spell check just flagged it - it flagged “spellcheck,” too; maybe they should be hyphenated). However, I’ve never gotten into the big bucks, the world of sports betting. A lot of my friends do it, and they tend to stick to the common targets, the “big four” sports (though I don’t know one that bets on hockey). But here are some things I didn’t know anybody bet on, and maybe some that you shouldn’t be able to bet on. (Note - all odds and lines taken from Bodog)
Edit: They stopped, now they’re doing it again! Sons of bitches!
I’m a smarmy liberal who scoffs when he hears the opinions of those without graduate school educations, so I was heading over to NYTimes.com to read what the latest news was in a language only my peers and I understand. But when I got there and tried reading the story on the U.S. shooting down its old spy satellite, I saw this warning:
What the hell is this nonsense? I’ve enjoyed free articles on their website for quite some time now, since they got rid of that awful TimesSelect bullshit. Then they opened up the op-ed and the archives, and things were even better for internet users all over the world! So why are they going back to this 1998 model of internet news? Do they really want us to have to install that worthless BugMeNot add-on to our Firefox again?
I mean, I love the Times, but I’d rather just go over to CNN.com or any of the other hundreds of reputable news sources. I’m not signing in every time I feel like checking up on some news. Shame on you, New York Times. I thought you had more tech-savvy than this.
Let me get right to it, this was one of the worst piece shit movies I have ever seen in my life. My 9 year old sister could have played the parts of both cops and the acting still would have been better. The story, if there even was one, was stupid. I don’t live in Milltown but I consider it somewhat of a second home and they did nothing but shame the great town. I was disgusted with this movie. My only regret is that I didn’t know when and where these losers were filming this movie so I could go and put a stop to it. Great cameos from the wonderful folks at the Milltown Police Department, I don’t like them. But what I like less is this terrible movie. Please don’t watch.
Get it? It’s a joke! Because the movie you see below is called “Still-Life.” And it’s not very good.
Int., Police Office - Masterson sits, fiddling with his coffee mug. Mr. Isele enters.
Isele:
Masterson, it’s been three months. I need you back out there…
And in that moment, everything I loved from my childhood had been ripped away from me.
“Still-Life” is a short film by Dave O’Halloran starring his cousin, Brian O’Halloran, and Stephen Gallo. It’s a cop drama, I think. Or something like that. And apparently, it was put up onto YouTube a year ago. Thankfully, I went all of ‘07 without watching it. I’d like to think that contributed to making 2007 one of the best years of my life.
I remember when the movie was being made, local media gave Dave some coverage. I guess no one had ever filmed a short in the suburbian shangri-la of Milltown, N.J. before. And now, “Still-Life” makes a pretty strong argument against anyone ever filming here again.
After Ryan Newman’s win tonight in the Big Race, Fox Sports sent their reporter down to interview his crew chief, Roy McCauley. McCauley blessed us with this little piece of wisdom:
Fox: How much was this a team win today?
McCauley: It was a really team win.
God bless this sport.
from trojannyc.com
I first started following college football recruiting several years ago - I hadn’t even begun high school yet at the time. These days, I’m still doing so, but faced with the increasingly weird prospect of hanging on the exploits and decisions of kids significantly younger than I am. With the high school class of 2008 mostly signed up, focus is already shifting to the class of 2009 - a milestone in that it’s the first graduating class with which I shared zero years of high school. I can’t imagine how weird it’s going to seem following this stuff in 20 years, but I’d better prepare - because if anything, my interest is increasing. Luckily, keeping tabs on this stuff occasionally yields spectacular benefits.
I was watching Unavision today and I saw a hip teen show on, so I decided to keep with it for a while. The show was called “Somos Tú y Yo,” and though I’ve had some trouble finding information about it in English, I’m proud to say that I think I might have found the HSM of South America.
Hey everyone, Ashley and I were just sitting here deciding what to do tonight and I just wanted to write a post that was simply for my girlfriend Ashley. I haven’t had someone to share this special day with in awhile.
Well it’s Valentines Day again and instead of writing the common article that one would find today all over the place, (I’m talking about the ones that either claim that today is the best day ever, or just a holiday created by greeting card companies) I decided just to write a simple post that goes out to my girlfriend Mary. I love her with all my heart and can’t wait to see her later on tonight. I haven’t had a girlfriend to share Valentines Day with since my Junior year of highschool, and I can’t imagine sharing today with anyone other than Mary. I hope everyone out there has a great day one way or the other!
I also hope that Jeff of 41 Miles doesn’t get in trouble with his girlfriend Claire if she reads this post and asks why her boyfriend isn’t as charming as I am on this romantic day. (actually that would be kind of funny)
Today was hopefully one of the final chapter’s in the Roger Clemens steroid drama. Today Clemens and long-time trainer and friend Brian McNamee spoke in front of Congress about the alleged reports that Roger Clemens had taken steroids. It started out a little slow but a lot was found out during this hearing. First of all I am embarrassed to consider myself a republican today with the way they went after Brian McNamee. They bullied him around and treated Roger Clemens like a celebrity instead of a witness in a very serious case.
AP Photo/Wade Payne
The Rutgers Women’s Basketball team upset (the soon to be) top-ranked Lady Vols in Tennessee for the first time in school history tonight. There was only one small problem with the win—technically, it was a loss.
Candace Parker missed a hook shot with less than one second remaining and her teammate got the rebound and put the shot back up as time expired. The only problem was, time never expired. The game clock froze at 0.2 seconds for about half of a second, then ran to 0.0. In the extra illegal time, the referee called a foul on Rutgers’ Kia Vaughn and Tennessee made both of their foul shots to “win” the game.
I’m a huge Rutgers fan and right now I’m furious, but I’m trying to approach this issue objectively. The foul was called officially when the referee raised his hand in the air and blew his whistle. Repeated viewings proved that the hand lift took place more than a full second after the clock froze at 0.2, giving Rutgers an honest, hard-fought victory.
It would seem that the refs completely missed the frozen clock, or chose to ignore it because they were scared to do the right thing. The replay made it abundantly clear that Tennessee didn’t deserve to take those two foul shots, and after watching it a number of times it is beyond me how the referees could have just ignored it.
Clock problems continued on the inbound pass, where Rutgers attempted to catch ‘n’ shoot. The ball was caught, and the clock once again didn’t start. But instead of questioning it, the referees called the game over and ran off the court before they could be questioned.
Something was up tonight in Tennessee. Rutgers made an incredible comeback, and played one of the best games they’ve ever played, and it was stolen from them by referees and clock operators and all these factors that should never, ever impact the outcome of a game like this. It was tragic, and it was unfair.
I am deeply saddened to report that Roy Scheider passed away today at the age of 75. Best known for his role as Police Chief Martin Brody in the classic film JAWS, Scheider died due to complications from multiple Myeloma which is a cancer of the blood cells.
I know that many people out there barely know of Roy’s existance because honestly he didn’t have that many classic roles under his belt. But all I have to say to that is “hey, he was the police chief in JAWS.” In my opinion, JAWS is one of the best films ever made. The strongest element of the film is the acting. Roy played the everyman and to his credit, he put us right there in the water with that shark every step of the way. He made it real.
On the set, the main characters of the film (Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, and Richard Dreyfuss) were always known as the “Big 3.” Today that number drops to 1 with the loss of Robert Shaw in 1978 and of Roy today. I’m already warming up my DVD player to watch JAWS today because it just feels right.
In closing, I first want to leave everyone with a bit of trivia. Roy Scheider actually improvised on the set of JAWS the famous movie line “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” It is not only still a pop culture reference that many use in one way or the other, but it is also a line that makes the film so much better.
And this one’s for you Roy: Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I want to go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago, and it’s gone right to my head. Wherever I may roam, on land, or sea or foam, you will always hear me singing this song, show me the way to go home…
I hope you find your way home Chief.
While reading the list mentioned in my previous post about the crap-fest Grammys, I noticed some completely outrageous categories that, apparently, get the same wonderful trophy as Frank Sinatra and Beyoncé.
Zydeco Music Album: “Live! Worldwide,” Terrance Simien & The Zydeco Experience — I may be going out on a limb here, but don’t you think Zydeco fans saw this one coming? I mean, if a band is just called “The (genre) Experience,” I would have to imagine listening to them would give you the best experience of anyone in that genre.
Polka Album: “Come Share the Wine,” Jimmy Sturr and His Orchestra – Pictured above, it’s the King of Polka (as his friends and children call him). When will they stop giving all that screen time to Kanye West and let Jimmy Sturr perform live? Not soon enough. (And to answer your question, yes. The Grammy for Polka is the trophy I’d most want to own.)
Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: “What It Is!: Funky Soul and Rare Grooves (1967-1977),” Masaki Koike, art director — “What it is!” Oh, sorry, I meant to say “What is it?” Because seriously, what the hell is this? How could this person possibly deserve a Grammy award for their work? You know, I bet the guy who maintained the New York Giants website did a hell of a job this year. Doesn’t mean he got a Superbowl ring.
“Amy Winehouse sings poorly and smokes crack. Please, stop honoring her.” — Tom Wright-Piersanti
HBO/Nicole Rivelli via Yahoo! TV
Fellow television lovers, tonight was a sad night for our favorite medium. Nothing was on, at all, except the 50th Grammy Awards and The Wire (which was great). The Grammys, in keeping with tradition, were pitiful. I’ve always thought that the music business, by nature, is too fast-moving and widespread to actually give out awards, and every year The Grammys do their darnedest to prove me right.
But reading over the complete list, which is about 600 items long, I noticed a few standouts that weren’t mentioned during the telecast, other than a little blurb flashing across the bottom third of the screen.
In no particular order, here are the big ones they missed:
- Rock Song: “Radio Nowhere,” Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen)
- Solo Rock Vocal Performance: “Radio Nowhere,” Bruce Springsteen.
- Rock Instrumental Performance: “Once Upon a Time in The West,” Bruce Springsteen
- Spoken Word: “The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream,” Barack Obama
- Comedy Album: “The Distant Future,” Flight of the Conchords
I would have to imagine that speeches from these three people would have been more enjoyable than watching Brad Paisley sing “Check Your Tits.”
To movie fans and New Jersey natives alike, Zach Braff’s Garden State was a mixed bag. On one hand, it had some solid moments and some wonderful shots of our home state. On the other, it was a little too heralded by faux-hipsters and it really could have been filmed anywhere in America, outside of a mention of Rutgers and a few town names here and there.
But now, NJ filmgoers have something to be proud of in Rocket Science, the sophomore effort by director Jeffery Blitz (Spellbound). The film tells the story of Hal Hefner, played by Reece Thompson (who believably played a 14 year old in 2007, but whose IMDb page now makes him look like a male model). Hefner is a young high school student in Plainsboro, NJ, who suffers from a severe stutter. He is recruited for the debate team by Ginny Ryerson (Anna Kendrick), one of the state’s top student debaters.
The film goes on to be a fascinating exploration into speech disorder, and a study of young teens struggling to comprehend the nature of love and sex. Beyond that, Rocket Science is a wonderful window into New Jersey life that stretches beyond the artifice of Garden State and doesn’t pander to detractors hoping to hear the negative NJ-slams that are all too common today.
Attention, Friday Night Lights fans: the episode you saw last Friday may very well be the series finale. And Ben Silverman doesn’t seem to care very much.
At a recent launch party for Lipstick Jungle, co-chairman of NBC Entertainment Ben Silverman spoke with Radar about the future of FNL.
Radar: Quick question! A lot of us are happy that you’ve kept Friday Night Lights on the air despite lousy ratings. It’s totally the best show on TV. But is there going to be another season?
Silverman: Do you watch 30 Rock? That’s the best show on TV.Not regularly. But what about FNL?
Start watching 30 Rock. It’s the best show on TV.I don’t want to watch 30 Rock. I want to watch FNL. I love it.
I love it. You love it. Unfortunately, no one watches it. That’s the thing with shows. People have to watch them. We’re NBC, we have a reputation to uphold. And, man, with this writers’ strike … well, we’ll see what we can do. But start watching 30 Rock.
First, I’d like to give props to the Radar writer. They stuck to their guns in the face of a guy who, by all accounts, is a prick. I’ll just take a bit of a closer look at these three questions.
I know what you’re thinking, Josh Peck, half of Nickelodeon duo “Drake & Josh.” But please, listen to me first, because I care about you, and I don’t want to see it end like this.
It wasn’t too long ago that Drake Bell was ruling to teen world but ever since the emergence of High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and the Jonas Brothers it’s like the world has forgotten about Drake. His hit show on Nickelodeon was big with little kids and he too also was putting out his own music. He was dating Vanessa Hudgens and she even sent him a naked picture of herself. Lucky guy. But we’ve all seen them haven’t we? Anyway Drake, just wanted to let you know that I still think you’re a pretty cool guy. I’ve been listening to a couple of your songs a lot lately, they are pretty catchy. “Makes Me Happy” and “I Found A Way,” both are very enjoyable. Personally I don’t really care what happened to Josh Peck, but you, I want you to make a comeback.
In every man’s life, he makes a choice that he later comes to regret. For some, it may be after years of loveless marriage, as he stares forlorn into a photo of the one that got away. For others, it might be while sitting in a cold, sterile office building, dreaming of days once spent as a dancer.
For me, it was when I reached into my pocket and suddenly realized the mistake I’d made a few hours earlier; “I’ll just save this Hershey’s Kiss for later.”
from www.worldtek.com
Well, this has been an eventful day. For one, I’ve been walking outside comfortably all day in short sleeves - in February. In New Jersey. (Not really an “event,” but definitely out of the ordinary.) Then, the good folks over at Fire Joe Morgan revealed their identities for all to see. And, to top it all off, today was signing day - the first day high school senior football players can sign official, binding letters of intent to attend the college of their choice.
from www.dci.org
Tom made a post on this already but I figured I would add my thoughts, which are: I feel kind of weird that this is now in the open. I had no idea who dak and Junior really were, but 1 out of 3 was a lot more knowledge than most people had, and after sitting on that piece of information for a few months, I was surprised to see it come to light, out of nowhere, by the guys themselves.
via FoxNews.com
The month of February is Black History Month, a time to remember the great African-American heroes of our past. Those men and women who made a stand for what was right and paved the way for a brighter future. As a tribute I decided that throughout the month I will be writing pieces on those very individuals, sort of as a thank you for what they’ve done, who better to start off with than legendary ace Dwight Gooden.
Note from Tom - This is the famous post that many of you have heard about but few have actually seen. This afternoon, the writers over at FireJoeMorgan.com revealed their identities to the world. I decided that it was time to publish this post, so we could all appreciate just how great Glenn’s investigation skills were during this historic period in the blog’s history. Without further ado, the post.
Image from LifeInTheOffice.com
October 29, 2007
By Glenn Davis
We of this blog don’t exactly hide our admiration of the blog Fire Joe Morgan. We’re the same way with NBC’s “The Office.” FJM turns bad sportswriting on its head, being consistently funny in the process. The blog’s contributors all go by pseudonyms; one of the main contributors goes by “Ken Tremendous.” Tremendous is generally the one to make fun of “JoeChats,” chat sessions Joe Morgan participates in with espn.com users where he almost never provides a substantial answer. Invariably, Tremendous’ biting rebuttals to Morgan’s “responses” prove way more entertaining than the chats themselves. Tremendous excels at critiquing bad work by all writers, however, and he is arguably the best contributor FJM has.
Consistent humor is also the calling card of “The Office;” 41miles creator Tom said in another post that there has never been a single unfunny episode. The driving force behind this consistency is excellence in writing. One of the show’s main staff writers is Michael Schur (pictured). He has been with the show since the first season and has written or co-written some of the series’ best episodes. He is also gaining more notoriety for playing salesman Dwight’s socially clueless cousin (and farm co-worker) Mose in a couple episodes. He is proving to be invaluable to the show in more ways than one.
What do these things have to do with one another, you ask? A short time ago, I wouldn’t have thought they were related at all myself. Then, some things that will be explained throughout the duration of this post fell into place. Bit after bit of evidence made the story all the more plausible, and now, armed with some pieced-together factoids, I’m suggesting one thing and one thing only: Michael Schur is Ken Tremendous.
TV Land, as many of you know, shows Three’s Company at 4 a.m. every night. I’m a huge Three’s Company fan, so naturally I was up watching the show last night. My favorite character, Mr. Furley, was talking to Terri, the blonde who replaced who replaced Suzanne Somers. We all know that Jack pretends to be gay to fool his bumbling landlord, right? So fans were treated to this exchange:
Terri: What’s wrong with Jack?
Mr. Furley: I think he’s been baking a little too much banana bread lately.
I figure that this is a strange reference to gay sex. What I don’t get is exactly what it means. I mean, obviously, I understand the banana part. And I guess baking because the inside of his body is so warm? But I have no idea why it’s bread. All I know is Joyce DeWitt is a bitch.
With 64% of bloggers reporting, 41Miles has declared Barack Obama the winner of the blog’s primary with 100% of the vote.
The blog held a primary election today, which has come to be known as Super Tuesday because of the blog’s intense popularity and incredible sway over the voting public, to choose who would receive the support of their 6 delegates. Polls in recent weeks had shown Obama to have a considerable lead over all other presidential hopefuls.
Exit polls of the bloggers showed that Obama won the important “college student” demographic, which has been a strong point of his campaign. He attracted 0% of the female demographic, ages 0-100. Surprisingly, according to experts, this did not negatively impact his 100 point margian of victory.
“We have chosen Barack Obama because we feel that what he lacks in foreign policy experience, he more than makes up for in his apparent leadership qualities and political idealism,” said site creator Tom Wright-Piersanti. “Also, we just watched Season 3 of 24, Deep Impact, and Head of State starring Chris Rock, and we feel that the nation was doing fantastic in all three because of their black presidents.”
This hideously warped image of our nation was created by the University of Michigan’s Michael Gastner, Cosma Shalizi, and Mark Newman. It is a county-by-county breakdown of the 2004 presidential election results, but with all areas weighted for population. Interesting idea, no?
This very day, Tuesday, February 5, has been hyped for some time now due to its implications for selecting the Republican and Democratic presidential nominees for the 2008 election. It seems like everyone is talking about it - the “day with a lot of primaries on it,” I believe, is the catchy name the media has coined. I think Tom is doing a bigger posting on it later today, but for now I’ll say that I don’t think I’m going to vote in the primary. The whole “being registered” thing doesn’t appeal to me. I’ll leave it to the party die-hards to choose the nominees (since I have a pretty good idea of what I’ll do once the election rolls around anyway) and wait it out until November.
What do you think? Any interest in the primaries? Voting in them? Agree with my lack of desire to vote in them? Disagree? Think I’m a shitty American for declining to participate in this vital component of our democratic process? Don’t be shy.
I just had to comment on this bizarre situation involving the Dark Knight. At approximately 7:30 PM I attempted to watch Batman: The Animated Series on Toon Disney. To my sadness it seemed that the info box at the bottom of my television screen was inaccurate and instead, Superman was on. Ok no harm no foul. Then at approximately 9 PM I attempted to watch Tim Burton’s classic 1989 film Batman on BRAVO. Once again the info was wrong and instead my eyes took in the opening credits of Make Me A Supermodel or some such nonsense. This is getting a little weird now.
The nail in the coffin came at 10 PM when my friend Duffy and I turned on Toon Disney again under the impression that Batman: The Animated Series was on. Well, no it wasn’t. Jackie Chan Adventures was on and as we all know, no one watches that. What in God’s name was going on here?! I’m not one for getting scared, but I’m shaking right now as I’m typing.
Batman clearly died tonight and until further notice, not even Adam West is safe.
This is a bold move on my part. I recently read Tom’s post about the infamous Salesgenie.com commercial during the Super Bowl last night. I was going to just leave a comment on his post but felt I had too much to say.
Honestly I must have missed the commercial in question and viewed it for the first time here on 41 MTF. Oddly enough, I too was going onto the blog to post my own feelings on a terrible Super Bowl ad when I stumbled upon the fact that Tom had already beat me to it. The funny thing here is that I was going to bash a Salesgenie.com commercial as well but not the same one! (That’s right; I just yelled that statement using my fingers.)
The commercial that I wanted to scrutinize involved a family of Panda Bears who owned and operated a Bamboo store. The commercial itself, as Tom has stated about the other ad, was just painful to watch. My issue with it was less about the quality and more about the bizarre racist stereotypes. The Pandas owned a Bamboo store and spoke in an incredibly stereotypical Chinese accent. It just struck me as odd because it was blatantly racist but for no real reason. Upon viewing Tom’s post I realized that we had yet another bizarre racist commercial brought to us by Salesgenie.com. Watching the ad on Tom’s post makes my point in a fairly self-explanatory way. Now we have awkward stereotypes targeting people of Indian decent. I don’t get it.
Let me make one thing very clear: I’m not one who gets offended by racist jokes. I just don’t take them that seriously and sometimes don’t think they are all that funny. But hey, sometimes they are amusing; especially if used in the right way. Look up the lyrics for the song “Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist” from the Broadway musical Avenue Q and you will see what I mean. What really monkeys my wrench is that I don’t understand why these commercials were so blatantly racist without making any kind of joke out of it. It was as if Salesgenie.com really didn’t know they were using stereotypes in the first place. If you are going to be racist, at least try to make it funny!
I’m looking forward to the German one with a mustachioed cartoon Nazi looking for sales leads regarding human-sized ovens. If I know Salesgenie.com the way I think I do, then they are probably already finished animating it.
Piggybacking on the wild success of Greg’s previous post about Super Bowl commercials, I realized that one of the most disappointing moments in my life happened during the Big Game® last night.
The family crowded around the TV in wild anticipation for the inevitable laff-fest that is Super Advertising. After a strong showing from Bud Light in the first big spot of the night, we all leaned toward the screen, agog and ready for brilliance. Would it be a talking baby? A celebrity being hit in the face? Maybe even a Chimpanzee of some sort?!
What we saw next both shocked and appalled us.
Puppy Bowl IV is over and it’s that time again to survey the damage that Animal Planet has no doubt inflicted on our great nation. I watched the Puppy Bowl along with the rest of the world from approximately 3 PM to 11 PM yesterday. What I saw was horrifying.
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Wow. What a ridiculous game last night! Or so I heard. ..
While all you jerks were indulging yourselves in the Super Bowl and Super Bowl-related activities (including eating nachos, wearing Styrofoam #1 fingers, and that thing when you slap a guy’s ass but it’s still cool (dare i call it, “coolin’ the slap ass”? ), I was taking the chance to education myself in a manner that normal folk would not only consider to be bad ass, but also a true once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That’s right, I was watching commercials.
Sorry, I may be overstepping my boundaries here. I know I’m a newcomer to the 41 Miles team, and I don’t mean to put anyone down. I’m not even clear on the censorship rules yet. And looking at the opening posts of the two other new additions, this is probably not what people are expecting in one’s first contribution to the blogging community. But here’s the thing:
I straight-up bone so much more than the rest of the writers on this blog. Put together. Probably.
I’m not saying the above to be cocky, though the hilarious pun I just unwittingly typed (I swear, I didn’t plan it at all) just pushed my ego to a whole new level. I’m just in such a good mood right now that everything good in my life is rapidly running through my brain and I’m having a hard time deciding what to write about. The New York Giants just won the Super Bowl, I just had a good shave and a lengthy, luxurious shower, and my girlfriend just stripped naked right in front of me en route to a shower of her own. Damn, she’s got great hooters (Why “hooters?” No idea, it just felt right).
But the crowning achievement currently being celebrated in my life is the awesome privilege I have been awarded to write on this fine blog. As a long-time 41 MTF reader, I often longed for the chance to contribute to one of the most on-point, humorous, informative sites on the (web/internet) (<—Tom probably knows the d
Glenn: Blogging Expert? Or Creepiest Person of All-time?
February 28, 2008 in General, Greg | Tags: blogging, commenting, creepy, expert, glenn davis, mean, median, mode, range, standard deviation, statistics | by Greg Snitkin | 3 comments
Pictured above is Me and, more importantly, Glenn Davis. We all know Glenn. Glenny D. The Glenninator. Glennosaurs. What a sweet, innocent guy that Glennosaurs is, right?
WRONG!
aaaaaaaaaaaaa
Over my past few weeks on the blog I’ve begun to notice things. Little things. Somewhat sexy things about Glenn. What I realized will blow your mind. Reader Beware! This post is not for the faint of heart. For all you Glenn-lovers out there, be prepared to stop loving him and start loving me (females only). But sshhhhhhh! We need to keep our voices low. He may be listening to our every word…let me explain.
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