One problem with having a little upstart blog like this is that the majority of your readers are not subscribers. Mostly, they find the blog through searching or clicking links or because they know us personally and wonder what that 41miles thing is on our Facebook pages. But hopefully (my fingers are crossed here), we have a few of you who found us and decided to stick around. Sadly, this segment has nothing to do with you. This is meant to be a help to those of you who aren’t yet lucky enough to really become immersed in our wonderful world.

I know that it is not a great idea to get too “meta” with a blog before anyone actually reads it, but I just thought of this feature, so why not give it a try? Here in the 41MTF Regional Headquarters, we can see you reading us. Well, we can’t actually see you. But we can see how you got here. For some of you, it was through Digg or Blue Jersey. But for some of you, you found us by means of a Technorati/AOL/Google/ search. (If I left out a search engine there, please, let me know. I want to include everyone.) When you’re lucky enough to do that, we can see what you entered as a search query. Often, it’s something very relevant, like “cowherd” or “black donnellys coming back.” But there are a few times where I’m completely baffled by your choice of keywords. So now, for all of those searches who have surely left the site disappointed that we didn’t have your answers, I will now do my best to accommodate you. And for those of you who did not search, stick around and read anyway, because some of the searches are just plain insane.

I will first address the biggest two terms that are used to find us. Number one: “Guy Love Ringtone.” Let me start by saying WE DO NOT HAVE THESE RINGTONES NOR DO WE KNOW ANY WAY TO GET THEM. Ah… that had been building up in me for months. On February 8, 2007 (now known as a day that will live in blog-infamy) I made a post titled Where can I get a “Guy Love” ringtone? I titled this post humorously, not intending anyone outside my immediate family to actually take interest in it. I had no desire for a Guy Love ringtone, I very rarely purchase them. But I underestimated the incredible market that is today’s ringtone scene. On the show, Turk had a ringtone of the song Guy Love that he and JD had performed a few weeks earlier. I thought I was being funny, but now it feels like I was subconsciously click-farming, and I have no need to do anything like that, since there is no revenue generated from the site. Please, if you came here in search of that, abandon all hope. Also, read some other posts, you might like them.

The second big search term that is being used for the wrong reasons is “Deion Sanders.” Primetime himself is not a guest blogger here (though if you are reading this sir, we would welcome your insight). He is a character in Glenn’s five-part narrative, Trombone Dixie. But, it seems that WordPress is a void when it comes to Deion information, since clicking the tag ‘deion sanders’ reveals that Glenn’s latest 3 parts are the top 3 most relevant posts. And “Glenn” is the second-most related tag, just after “NFL Network.” Thankfully for all of you searchers, in part V of the series Glenn gave you a number of links to actually find information about the man. If you are still lost or confused, just read Glenn’s stories and pretend they’re real. Then you will feel like your search was not in vain.

Now that those two orders of business are out of the way I’ll get to the ridiculous searches. In the weekly segment, I’ll almost only highlight and answer these. I just had to get the two big boys out of the way in the inaugural post.

NOTE: If you figure out that one of these searches applies perfectly to something that I’m just forgetting, please leave a comment.

congratulations ” i hope your happy” – Thanks! We are pretty happy! (On May 3rd we were voted the #19 growing WordPress blog, just in front of H ΠΑΡΕΜΒΑΣΗ and somewhere behind * nein. ja. erledigt. los. but of course that was right after the Digg boom. We’re back to nothing now.) I hope that the direct quote there was not actually found on our site, because it uses the wrong form of “you’re”.

homer’s heart simpson – I’m not sure what this could mean, but if you’re looking for a picture of Homer’s heart, I don’t think it’s ever been drawn. He did have a triple bypass surgery, however, so you can be sure his heart is not healthy.

CBS meaning – CBS used to mean the Columbia Broadcasting System, but it is now just known as CBS Broadcasting, Inc. and does not stand for anything.

al sharpton is a racist mothafucka – I’m sure this was connected to our site because of Glenn’s uncontrollable usage of the phrase “mothafucka” both in real life and in his writing. I’ve been trying to get him to stop, I really have. He’s got 5 children and they really look up to him

rugrats online episodes – Unlike The Black Donnellys, one of our biggest search terms, Rugrats sadly does not offer episodes online.

the flu – I had the flu earlier in the year, and it was mentioned then. Please, do not consult this site as a one-stop source for all of your medical advice.

east carolina’s best quarterback – After losing 3 year starter James Pinkney (career 687/1189 for 8173 yds.), the Pirates are in a tough spot. They have three people competing for the position this fall: Brett Clay, Rob Kass, and Patrick Pinkney. Oddly, James and Patrick Pinkney are of no relation. I have a very hard time believing that. Look for Pinkney to take the starting spot in his senior season, but Clay seems to be poised to take the position away if given the chance.

others that got fired from same acts as – I guess this is about Imus? I really don’t know. If it his, his producer Bernard McGuirk was also fired a week after Imus was. If it’s not about that, then please finish your sentences before hitting enter from now on.

sanjaya you’re a good man charlie brown – As far as I know, this incredible record has not yet been made. It might make sense, though, because Charlie Brown is the lovable loser that was popular for ages simply because others got pleasure out of laughing at him. And Sanjaya… well, you can see the connection.

homer simpson – black – Just make Carl Carlson fatter and bald, and round out his head a little.

After this, I – I guess after that, you stopped typing. I have no idea how this search came up with our site, are we just littered with unfinished sentences?

jeremy ito nationality – He’s half Japanese, as far as Glenn and I know. But he’s all American.

colin bleu (HSM) – It’s Corbin Bleu. He played Chad in High School Musical, and his hit single “Push It To The Limit” hit 14 on the Billboard Hot 100 and 1 in the iTunes store. You can also see him on Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide on Nickelodeon. Don’t go to his Wikipedia page, it seems to be translated poorly from a Spanish version:

“Corbin with the aid of Lans Erlans escribio this album went of tour that same day by New York and 15 May will begin tour with cast of High School Musical by Latin America … Its favorite book is El gran Gatsby and to carried out three original films of Disney Channel: High School Musical, Jump In and High School Musical 2. Corbin is of Christian religion [[]] medical instructor. His better friend is Lans Erlans with which he passes together part of his time in listening to music or to practice dance passages next you would estaran recording it third musical part of high school that was released in the 2008 in cinemas.

smile, comics – You seem to be commanding the comics to smile. Sadly, it’s my job to inform you that comics are inanimate, and are also overwhelmingly depressing. Very few, if any, people smile in your local funnies. Don’t believe me? Read Funky Winkerbean.

racist bet starz in black – All over the place with this one, I really don’t know where to start. I’m also unsure how this could possibly relate to my blog. I wonder who you think is racist: BET, Starz inBlack, or both? I will bet a fair sum of money that you don’t think they’re racist against black people, so odds are you are a white person. Do you really think that the only two networks that exist for black people are targeting you with their racism? Get over it. As white people, we have dozens of channels for us: TLC, Fuse, G4, A&E, CBS, all the cable news outlets, etc. Please, just let BET and Starz inBlack exist peacefully, they aren’t hurting anyone, and I know that BET puts on very good stuff. They air The Wire, as well as some pretty quality documentaries that can be enjoyed by people of all races. P.S – Glenn can’t live without 106th and Park.

games that need no talent – Again, I love that this found my blog. Here’s a list for you: Solitaire, Blackjack, Bingo, the Lottery, Trampolining, Women’s Soccer, Equestrian, Sudoku, and Beard Competitions.

There you have it, the longest amount of time I’ve ever spent answering questions for people that will never read them. Tune in next week for another edition of… 41MTF Answers Your Searches!