This past week we’ve been seeing a few new trends with our searches. I’ve seen a lot more relevancy in the general populace of the search terms, with only a few outliers being exceptions to the overall calmness. First, with The Simpsons wrapping up its 18th season with two fantastic episodes, there has been a surge of searches involving them. A few of them have been relevant but, for the most part, people still need to start thinking before they hit that search button. Some Simpsons-related examples:

homer simpsons – This has been a search term EVERY SINGLE DAY this past week. Listen, I know you desperate need to find information about the man, but it’s Simpson. No ‘s’. Maybe the reason you keep finding us instead of a real Simpsons site is because you need to learn how to spell his name.

homer simpson high – Something about stoners’ minds make them desire to see their favorite figures high at the same time as they’re high. That’s why Weekend at Burnsies is such a popular episode, and that’s why there exist pictures of Spongebob high. And I know that just by linking to that, I’m opening myself up to a whole new world of searches.

SImpsons 500 Episode – Wow, I wish. 500 would be pretty ridiculous, don’t expect the show to ever get there. Last Sunday was just the 400th.

black bart simpson playing basketball – What could possibly be your desire to see this? Unless you are just yearning for 1990 nostalgia, there should be no reason to want to look upon this mess. Here is one where black Bart is imploring us to understand that South African freedom is a black thing. I guess that’s why I don’t get the appeal of the shirt, it’s a black thing. It’s also the most poorly drawn Bart imitation I’ve ever seen; note the insane direction that his head is pointed, while his body remains facing forward and his feet twist every which way. I love looking at this shirt and imagining the goofy black imitation voice saying the awful line “It’s a black thing, you must understand!”

sleep homer – Creepy. What could this mean? Are you a hypnotist?

did homer have kids – Yes. Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. You should be ashamed of yourself.

bart simpson getting a blow job – Haha. That’s gross. Stop looking for that, that’s really weird. Ew… please, don’t find my website by searching for an image of TV’s most famous ten year old engaging in lude acts. I’ll refrain from doing the search, so find your own links if you wish. Sick…

We also have a shocking number of people interested in the Coors Light can lining. Personally, I will never be able to say Coors Light again without thinking of Magnus ver Magnusson uttering the brand name in a painfully hilarious voice. If you’ve never heard it, I’m supplying a video because no written form of the accent will do it justice. I really think that the humor comes from the staggering contrast between his superhuman strength and– well, listen for yourself.

“Kawz LyeT?” is as close as I can come. Anyway, getting back to it, here are some searches who had to be disappointed in the info they got from our site:

coors light frost brew liner does it work, coors light protective liner, coors 2007 strategy – I especially like the questioning of Coors’ strategy in 2007, like they’re playing Risk or something. To give our readers some history, from Wikipedia: “The inventors Green and Hannell claim the liner was created by accident during an experiment for the United States military. After a year long trial for trademark rights between Hannell and Green, the jury ruled in favor of Green and he sold it to Coors for an unspecified, million dollar contract.” The liner does not lock in freshness or keep your beer cold. What it does, as far as I could tell from the information available, is provide a plastic layer between the beer and the aluminum. It reportedly keeps the beer from absorbing an aluminum flavor, keeping the flavor from spoiling for a bit longer. Also, the plastic is a worse conductor of heat/cold than aluminum, which should keep the temperature steadier for longer.


is jeremy ito a japanese? – We answered this last time, but you asked it in a much better way.

michael richards fortune 40 million – That’s an amazing amount of money, but why do the search if you already know the number?

what power does nicki sanders have? – Good question. She looks in a mirror and gets angry and then turns into her sister in her brain, which makes her really violent and pretty strong. Then last night she found out the power was in her the whole time. It was a cheesy moment.

attendance for hawthorne heights at rutg[ersfest] – Minimal. Maybe 1,000 out of the reported 5,000 that were supposed to be there, and no more than 100 people were actually listening. It was embarrassing.

Here’s one (well, two actually) that caught my eye:

rutgers glenn, Glenn Davis – What the hell? What did he do that made him so much better? Stop searching for Glenn, damn it, search for me! ME!  (Note: If you were searching for the Athlete’s Glen which is on the Rutgers campus, which I’m sure is the case and you just spelled it wrong and chanced onto this site by mistake, then please enjoy the photo below of Rutgers Glenn at the Glen at Rutgers)

RICKY JERVIS AND LARRY DAVID – It’s Ricky Gervais. He sat down with Larry David and did an interview for BBC in December 2005. It was reportedly very funny and well-made, and I found a link to it. I’ll put the video here in the blog, but be warned, I think it’s 48 minutes long. I still haven’t watched it, but I will once I’m done writing this.


That’s all for me… Until next time, keep on searching for stuff we don’t have here!