I’d like to start this post with a rant.  I hate Flavor Flav.  I hate everything about the man.  I hate the way he talks, his fake persona, his stupid get-up, his clocks and hats and sunglasses.  I hate his untalented attempt at music and his gaudy, fake home as portrayed by Vh1.  I also hate Vh1 for ever airing him.  I know, thats a lot of hate, and it is a very strong word.  But the world would be a better place, truly, if he had never entered the public eye.

You may be wondering why I don’t like America’s Retard, or William Jonathan Drayton Jr., as he prefers;  everyone who watches the show (and that’s more people than you might think) will swear that they only watch it because they like to laugh at his insane antics.  But if there is one type of person I loathe, it’s the fake-millionaire on Reality TV.  Flav drives me so nuts because while Vh1 supplies him with a house and a wardrobe and a personality and a lifestyle, he seems to be unaware that these things are being given to him.  He buys into himself more than anyone else does, and that drives me nuts.  He is, quite simply, the least intelligent person on TV, and his utter refusal to accept that he is a complete fake is what kills me.  It magnifies all the other faults, and it makes me unable to watch him for even a moment without getting angry at my TV.  I find him so incredibly loathsome that I’m beyond even being able to laugh at his faults–they’re just sad to me at this point, and if he keeps believing that his life is that extravagant then when Vh1 pulls the rug out from under him, he’ll crash and burn and likely become a wreck until he goes back to drugs and winds up dead in a gutter somewhere.  But I digress…

Comedy Central will be hitting a new low this summer when they air The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav on August 12.  Comedians will get the night to take predictable cheap-shots about being old and being crazy and wearing giant clocks.  As Zap2it said in their report, ” There’s a barrel. It’s full of fish. Here’s a gun. Have fun shooting.”  If these stock jokesters can’t find a way to creatively zing the easiest zing on TV, then expect an incredibly dull night.  The ball is in your court now, Greg Giraldo.  And please, Lisa Lampanelli, do not talk about how you enjoy sleeping with black men.  No one finds it funny anymore.  Also, do not scream stereotypes.  They are not jokes by themselves, and listing them loudly does not make them funny.

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