Until 2001, Larry King wrote a column in USA Today where he would ramble like a lunatic and talk about how he knew famous people.  The Onion parodied it perfectly in 1997, and I would never try to step on their toes.  But I decided that his format is the perfect one for me to quickly post some thoughts that I’ve been having lately.

So, remember — this isn’t a parody, but real thoughts.  I’m just using the wonderful format.  I’d like to do it regularly, so I’ll need to think up a title sometime soon.

In my quest for finding new types of hats, I never once thought of checking Wikipedia…. Land O’Lakes American Cheese is perhaps the finest cheese ever made…. If you haven’t watched the new SciFi series “Tin Man,” consider yourself lucky…. I’m having daydreams about scary sea creatures; I think I must have dreamed about them last night…. Avoid visiting 4chan at all costs unless you want to experience things you can’t un-see…. That new Robin Williams flick looks fantastic!…. The age where having a mustache transforms from being hilarious to dignified: never…. I’m terrified that the Razor Scooter is making a comeback…. You heard it here first — 2008 will see the return of the Lynx as favorite big cat…. Bob Mulcahy is the Dick Cheney of Rutgers…. You’d be amazed at how many people on Facebook are actually named Dink…. I don’t get Pop Culture Shock Therapy…. If anyone has size 8.5 Rollerblades, get at me…. There are times when I find myself screaming at Zach on “Little People Big World” to stop faking, even when he’s actually hurt…. They never actually showed that kid who drank bleach on Kid Nation, so that means it never happened…. Michael for Bonanza City mayor!…. How do I know the name Tyne Daly?…. One of you has my Arrested Development DVDs…. I guarantee I’d be amazing at surfing the first time I tried it…. My brother has been singing the Home Alone theme recently, but I’m pretty sure that song has no words.

I’m sure this isn’t as fun to read as it is to write. Happy Chanukah!