America is currently swept up in primary fever — you’d have to live under a rock to not know what’s been going on these decisive few weeks, where the candidates are being weeded out to find the best representatives from each party.  But how to figure out who is really winning if there isn’t a clear-cut champion?

In the Mario Kart game series, there is a mode called “Grand Prix” where a racer accumulates points over a number of races. So I decided to keep a running Mario Kart Grand Prix tally after each primary, leading up to Super Tuesday (Feb. 5).

(I’m using the point system from Mario Kart DS since it’s the one I’ve most recently played)

Iowa (Jan. 3)


  1. Barack Obama (+10)
  2. John Edwards (+8)
  3. Hilary Clinton (+6)
  4. Bill Richardson (+4)
  5. Joseph Biden (+3)
  6. Chris Dodd (+2)
  7. Mike Gravel (+1)
  8. Dennis Kucinich (+0)


  1. Mike Huckabee (+10)
  2.  Mitt Romney (+8)
  3. Fred Thompson (+6)
  4. John McCain (+4)
  5. Ron Paul (+3)
  6. Rudy Guiliani (+2)
  7. Duncan Hunter (+1)

So after the first race, those were the official standings.  Then Wyoming maybe voted in their Republican primaries, but who cares.  Even Mitt Romney didn’t know it was going on, and he won it.

Just yesterday we were treated to a great 3 laps around DK’s Jungle Parkway and the results were not what people expected.  Everyone assumed Obama would walk away with it; after all, he had the pole position and held down the gas button at exactly the right time.  But Hilary Clinton got a lightning and then a star, and there was no catching her after that (even though you could tell Obama thought it was just luck by the way he threw his controller down).

On the Republican side the race went as predicted, without too many surprises. There were about 60,000 less people in the stands to watch that one, though.

New Hampshire (Jan. 8 )


  1. Clinton (+10)
  2. Obama (+8)
  3. Edwards (+6)
  4. Richardson (+4)
  5. Kucinich (+3)
  6. Biden (+2)
  7. Gravel (+1)
  8. Dodd (+0)


  1. McCain (+10)
  2. Romney (+8)
  3. Huckabee (+6)
  4. Giuliani (+4)
  5. Paul (+3)
  6. Thompson (+2)
  7. Hunter (+1)

So there we have it… after two races, the standings are as follows:


  1. Obama (18)
  2. Clinton (16)
  3. Edwards (14)
  4. Richardson (8)
  5. Biden (5)
  6. Kucinich (3)
  7. (Tie) Dodd & Gravel (2)


  1. (T1) Huckabee (16)
  2. (T1) Romney (16)
  3. McCain (14)
  4. Thompson (8)
  5. (T5) Paul (6)
  6. (T5) Giuliani (6)
  7. Hunter (2)

Now we have a week to cool off before the Michigan primaries, which we’ll call Frappe Snowland.  Then a few days later it’s Nevada for Democrats (Kalimari Desert) and South Carolina for Republicans (Banshee Boardwalk). A week later Democrats get to take their spin on the SC Banshee Boardwalk before the Florida primaries on Jan. 29 (Koopa Troopa Beach, obviously).

A week after that… its Super Tuesday.  Rainbow Road, baby.