miley quiz logo

By now, you should all know who Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana is.  If you don’t, then it’s time you started reading the blog more (specifically, the previous post).

Now that you’re done reading that (See the funny picture of a fat man?), we can get down to business.  I decided that if I was going to seek help for myself and my peers, I first would have to gauge my fandom of Ms. Cyrus and see if I actually needed third party intervention.

So I whipped up a little quiz to award myself a point value.  I’ll post my final score, along with a handy chart so you can see how serious your problem is, too!

ONE POINT for each of the following:

  •  You have seen the show more than 15 times
  • You’ve yelled at your TV, “Come on, it’s clearly the same girl, just wearing a wig! Are you people blind??”
  • You have seen one episode 3 times or more
  • You can sing more than half of the theme song
  • Her cameo in High School Musical 2 got you excited
  • You’re a girl who has dressed up like her for Halloween
  • You hate Rico
  • You knew that Emily Osment and Mitchel Musso were dating
  • You knew that Miley and Nick Jonas were broken up
  • You can sing half of two or more of her songs

TWO POINTS for each of the following:

  • You have seen the show more than 30 times
  • You’ve seen one episode more than 5 times
  • You’ve come to the decision that you might like Lilly/Lola more than Miley/Hannah
  • You can sing the entire theme song
  • You love Rico
  • You knew that Jason Earles is actually 30 years old
  • You knew they were making a movie based on the show
  • You own one of the DVDs
  • You went back and listened to “Achy Breaky Heart”
  • You consider Dolly Parton a human being

FIVE POINTS for the following:

  • You use the phrase “Sweet Nibblets!” once a week
  • You grew a soul patch after seeing Billy Ray looking so good in his
  • You’ve seen Hannah in concert (OMG how did you get tickets??)
  • You know about her cell phone/myspace pictures scandal
  • You actually sing “Yeahhh uhhh yeahhh eee yeahhhhh” along with the show between scenes
  • You are 18+ years old and started watching without the influence of a child
  • You own a Hannah Montana video game
  • You knew she was in the movie Big Fish
  • You’ve shed tears because of something on the show
  • You own a piece of clothing with her face on it

TEN POINTS for the following:

  • You’ve written two blog posts about her in the span of an hour
  • You’re a man who dressed up as her for Halloween
  • You own a lock of her hair and/or original Hannah wig
  • You’ve made love to your wife while listening to her latest album, Hannah Montana 2: Meet Miley Cyrus (doesn’t count if it was to her self-titled debut)
  • You stood outside of the studio where they film the show for a week, in a tuxedo, waiting for her to come out so you could propose, only to have Billy Ray Cyrus yell at you from the limo that she had said no
  • You carved a jack-o-lantern of her face, then got drunk and kissed it, then got more drunk and punched your hand through it, then got even drunker and cried as you tried piecing it back together
  • You’re dating Emily Osment in an elaborate scheme to secretly make Miley jealous, because it’s her that you’re actually in love with (I’m looking at you, Mitchel Musso)
  • You once showed up to school wearing a mask with her face on it, and when teachers asked you to remove it you screamed “But this is my real face! I’m so very pretty!” and laughed maniacally as they dragged you to the principal’s office
  • The only things in your room are duct tape, gasoline, and a giant clock counting down the seconds until she turns 18
  • You worked hard every day for your entire life, never spent a cent, never even had a family, all so one day you could profess your love to Miley Cyrus by writing it in giant letters on the moon.  Then, they day before your plan is executed, you find out she married your best friend.  You sit home that night and think about a life wasted.  The next day, you walk into the ocean and don’t look back.  Your home is under the sea now.  The fish will understand.

Well, that’s the test!  Let’s see how you scored!

0-5 points: You aren’t a fan at all! Get off my quiz.

6-10 points:  You like Hannah, but you aren’t really creepy about it.

11-20 points:  Getting a little weird.  If you’re over the age of 18, just take a break from the whole Disney scene for a while, alright?

21-35 points:  I just know you’d smell her hair if she walked by you… you’re a creepy dude.

36-50 points: I think it’s time you got a girlfriend.  If you keep going down this trail, odds are you’ll be on the next Dateline special report.

50-100 points: You have a serious disorder.  Please, leave my website.  Do not read my contact information, I love my family very much.

101+ points:  You win! You are handsome and a role model to all children out there. Shine on, you beacon of perfection.

For the record, my score was 41.  It should have been 31 but I gave myself a tough 10 points on that blog question.  How did you all do?  Post scores in the comments!