(That title goes out to all you Henny Youngman fans out there)

I’m getting mixed signals from Mariah Carey’s latest music video, “Touch My Body.”

Actually, first let me say, Mariah Carey? I had no idea she was still alive, let alone relevant, let alone sexy!

OK, back to the video.  So when I heard the song on the radio, I was repulsed. I thought it was disgusting. I imagined that Mariah Carey had let herself go, and was twice as crazy as ever.  Then I heard her sexily sing the line “I will hunt you down” and I almost turned the radio off out of pure fear. On top of that, I thought the language was bizarrely sexual, maybe even violent, with the sweetest music in the background.  I was confused and frightened.

But when I came home and watched the video, I got a completely different view of the song.  Jack McBrayer, who plays Kenneth on 30 Rock, is the star of the video, and we watch a dream sequence he has while fixing Mariah’s computer.  The video is hilarious (by which I mean McBrayer is hilarious), and because of that, I heard the song as more of a joke than before.  Once I thought of it more as a parody than a real love song, I decided that it was actually very funny. It doesn’t hurt that she looks fantastic and says “802.11n” at the end, which is a turn on for any geek.  What I wouldn’t give for n speeds…

Kudos to you, Mariah Carey.  You made a song that is pretty funny and still being treated like a normal R&B single. But I still think it’s a weird, weird tune.

I will hunt you down. Yikes… I get chills when I hear that line.