HEYO! I have some good news for all Americans, especially those living near New York City (that’s me!): We will now get to see Harry Potter’s weiner in person!

Equus—the play that destroyed the innocence of a young generation of Googlers with its lewd photos of everyone’s favorite wizard waving his wang around—is coming to Broadway! Variety reported today that the play, which had a successful run in London and features Daniel Radcliffe naked for about 10 minutes, will be hitting our shores in the fall.

The British version got mixed reviews, but that’s because I imagine their audience was filled with wealthy dowagers whose monocles dropped into their glasses at the very sight of the ween-peen. Here in America, Broadway audiences are filled with wise-cracking New Yorkers who often get angry and shout things at the stage, like “I seen better musicals on my balls!” Our critics will most likely be so enamored with the brutes and their jeers that they’ll forget all about that gross part where they saw a child actor’s schlong.

So if you want, I suggest we take a blog field trip.  Our writers and all our readers (Ricky, Jacob, Rachael, Eric, I’m sure there are one or two more) can go see his junk with our own eyes, and maybe even disrupt the whole operation with our cat-calls and saucy language. And then we can get Daniel’s autograph, hopefully finding a way to make him sign it with his penis. Because that would be gross and awesome.

Advertisements