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Anyone who follows my twitter (EVERYONE SHOULD!) knows that today I’ve been a little obsessed with Rihanna. Some sample tweets:

Rihanna
Pros: Great voice, beautiful.
Cons: Possibly used to be a man.
As great as she is… I can’t stop thinking about that damn con!

Best Rihanna song: “Unfaithful”
Worst Rihanna song: “Post-op Blues”
Mediumest Rihanna song: “What Happened To My Weiner? (Feat. T.I.)”

So while researching her past, I was reminded of her first song, Pon De Replay, and wondered, “What the heck did that mean?” So I decided to check out what they were saying over at SongMeanings. Consensus seems to be that “pon” means “put on” and “de” means “the.” Simple enough, it means “play the song again.” But in the comments, I happened across one man’s fantastic story. His name: Foxwing.

foxwing

The way I see it, poor Foxwing wrote his comment and felt good about it for a day or so. Then he realized his mistake, but it was too late. He spiraled into depression, fearing every Hispanic person he saw would know his terrible error. After a short stint in rehab, he moved West and found Jesus. Only then, after almost two years of meditation and planning, was he finally ready to admit his mistake to the Internet. His inclusion of squinty-eyed flat mouth man was the perfect touch on his formal admittance of the mistake, and he now lives a very happy life traveling through South America teaching heathen tribes the ways of the Lord. And he never calls them Mexicans.

Hey guys. Remember me? Been a while. Too long. More than two weeks. Sorry about that. Fragments.

Anyway, if there’s one way to break out of a posting funk, it’s by linking something from Youtube. It just so happens that I found something worthy of posting. Bruce Springsteen is my favorite artist, and “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out” is a personal favorite song. Imagine my delight, then, when I happened upon a video of a live performance of that very song that eclipses the original. Not only that, it eclipses the original with ease. (And I usually prefer studio versions.) The video is from 1990; how Springsteen managed this brilliance while ideas for his masterpieces Human Touch and Lucky Town were percolating in his head is beyond me. What’s more, it’s a solo performance – just Springsteen, his voice, and a piano. It’s just an amazing performance overall…enjoy.

We all know R. Kelly, the popular R&B star, peed on a 15-year-old girl. But did you know he’s also attracted to the elderly?

Listen to that… gross. “Now it’s like Murder She Wrote, once I get you out them clothes.”

What’s under that trenchcoat, star of Murder She Wrote Angela Lansbury? Looks like yellow… the color of a Lemon Party.

The Miley Cyrus pregnancy rumors might be getting fired up again after this home footage of the Disney star was released.  It’s unclear exactly what she is talking about but I assume she has to give up her Hannah Montana alter ego because of a bun in the oven.  Maybe Martha Brockenbrough was right.

This is clearly a joke and I adore Miley and everything she does.  But this clip from the show was just too good to pass up.

(That title goes out to all you Henny Youngman fans out there)

I’m getting mixed signals from Mariah Carey’s latest music video, “Touch My Body.”

Actually, first let me say, Mariah Carey? I had no idea she was still alive, let alone relevant, let alone sexy!

OK, back to the video.  So when I heard the song on the radio, I was repulsed. I thought it was disgusting. I imagined that Mariah Carey had let herself go, and was twice as crazy as ever.  Then I heard her sexily sing the line “I will hunt you down” and I almost turned the radio off out of pure fear. On top of that, I thought the language was bizarrely sexual, maybe even violent, with the sweetest music in the background.  I was confused and frightened.

But when I came home and watched the video, I got a completely different view of the song.  Jack McBrayer, who plays Kenneth on 30 Rock, is the star of the video, and we watch a dream sequence he has while fixing Mariah’s computer.  The video is hilarious (by which I mean McBrayer is hilarious), and because of that, I heard the song as more of a joke than before.  Once I thought of it more as a parody than a real love song, I decided that it was actually very funny. It doesn’t hurt that she looks fantastic and says “802.11n” at the end, which is a turn on for any geek.  What I wouldn’t give for n speeds…

Kudos to you, Mariah Carey.  You made a song that is pretty funny and still being treated like a normal R&B single. But I still think it’s a weird, weird tune.

I will hunt you down. Yikes… I get chills when I hear that line.

For your Sunday night video-viewing pleasure: I had Pete in mind when I found this clip. Jess– um… Charlotte Sometimes and New Atlantic, two artists who we here at 41mtf have “personal” relationships with, singing Timbaland’s “Apologize,” a song that I know Pete and Don hate with a vengeance.

If this video made anyone furious, I’m sorry.  I just thought that I had to bring it to everyone’s attention. And if you loved it, then you might want to check her out at her myspace.  Or maybe  see her on tour, she’s playing SXSW, Bamboozle, Warped Tour, and shows in every town in America.  Nothing in New Jersey, though, which is strange — she doesn’t strike me as someone who would just completely ignore the things that helped propel her career the minute she got the slightest bit of success.

I’m, uh, talking about New Jersey, of course.

God I hate her face. I’m sure none of you know who the hell she is. I had no idea of her worthless existence until my MSN homepage had a link for an article entitled ‘Is Miley Cyrus the Next Britney Spears?‘ I just got finished reading this trash and I couldn’t sit by idly. This is my first crack at pulling a FireJoeMorgan like post, a feat that a few of my fellow writers have flourished at. I left some parts of her article out that didn’t seem necessary but you’ll read what’s needed. Anyway this jerk jumps to more conclusions and makes more ridiculous assumptions about a teenage girl than a grown woman should be making. And as a big Miley/Hannah fan, I didn’t appreciate it.

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I’ve never personally watched an episode of ‘Wizards of Waverly Place’ but I know Selena Gomez.  I know she played a bit part in a couple Hannah Montana episodes as rival pop star Mikayla.  I know she may be the next big Disney star.  I know all of these things.  What I didn’t know was that she was in talks to be in the next High School Musical movie.  On the High School Musical: Senior year IMDB page it says that she is in talks to play Tiara, and is listed third in the cast credits.  I really hope this doesn’t happen.  I think it would be a mistake to add a high profile person like her to the cast of a movie that doesn’t need any new additions.  I don’t want them to mess with the cast and formula that has worked so great on the first two movies.  I don’t really like the idea of adding a new character who might play a big part in the movie.  Especially not someone who is already widely known.  It’s just my opinion, I’m curious to hear what the other HSM lovers feel about this news.

I recently wrote a post called I Haven’t Forgotten About You Drake Bell. That was then, that was when I thought the world of him. I had no idea what he was doing at the time, but for some reason I felt it was great. Recently, however, I discovered otherwise. With thoughts that he was probably writing a new catchy tune or filming a new movie with Josh Peck, I uncovered some information that disappointed me to the core. I was reading through my latest Entertainment Weekly magazine, the Spring Movie Preview, and I came across a film titled ‘Superhero Movie‘ starring Drake Bell as Ricky Riker/Dragonfly. I immediately thought of those clowns Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the geniuses behind the films ‘Date Movie’, ‘Epic Movie’, and ‘Meet the Spartans.’ The three worst movies ever. This movie isn’t from those guys, but it is from the guy who brought us ‘RocketMan’ with Harland Williams. So I say to you, Mr. Bell… why? You’re better than this Drake, you owe us more.

sports betting

I’m not a gambling man, at least not a large scale. I’ll get together with the guys once in a while and play a good game of poker in a smoke-filled room, hopefully wearing a pork pie hat (I thought “porkpie” was one word in the case of hats, but spell check just flagged it – it flagged “spellcheck,” too; maybe they should be hyphenated). However, I’ve never gotten into the big bucks, the world of sports betting. A lot of my friends do it, and they tend to stick to the common targets, the “big four” sports (though I don’t know one that bets on hockey). But here are some things I didn’t know anybody bet on, and maybe some that you shouldn’t be able to bet on. (Note – all odds and lines taken from Bodog)

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