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ESPN.com often highlights certain quotes from their forums or comment sections, and features them on the homepage. People turn to ESPN for comprehensive, intelligent analysis; which is why it only makes sense that this was today’s featured quote:

YankeesJets2375 provides us with some incredible insight here… “The Rays are gonna have to back to Tampa in a pumpkin.” I mean, I get that he’s trying to make a Cinderella joke. But wasn’t there a single clever comment that was actually written in English?

Also, what a generic name. I have a hard time believing this wasn’t written by some ESPN intern. Keep your eyes out for the next piece of incredible sports writing… hopefully someone named SportsFan2000 will tell us, “The Phillies just the World Series, now they are it now.”

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While browsing newyorkjets.com, your home for dull, PR-written information about the New York Jets, I saw this headline flash by:

“Jets Expecting a Dogfight in a Dark Place Today”  Maybe I’m just being nitpicky here, but isn’t it a little soon to be reminding NFL fans about dogfighting? Couldn’t there have been a less controversy-related headline to go with?

  • Jets Expecting Drunken Boat Revelry Today
  • Jets Expecting Pain Killer Overdoses Today
  • Jets Expecting Beating the Hell Out Of Some Strippers Today

I mean, those are just a few possible alternatives I thought up, I’m sure the guys getting paid to do this could find an even better one.

From mhfitness mag.com. I hope the roof didnt collapse on Malarchuk as soon as that picture was taken.

From mhfitness mag.com. I hope the roof didn't collapse on Malarchuk's head as soon as that picture was taken.

How do both of the things in the linked article happen to one person? One would think the “jugular vein slashed with ice skate” thing would be enough to prove that luck isn’t exactly on the guy’s side. And yeah, he had the rifle to begin with, but how many people probably do exactly what he did without incident? I’m thinking “many.” And what’s more, he’ll probably downplay the incident, modestly saying something like “that’s how it goes.” Not for most of us, Clint – thankfully.

From scarletknights.com. Kenny got an extra Twizzler for this.

From scarletknights.com. Kenny Britt received an extra pregame Twizzler for this achievement.

College football is barely a week away, and I could hardly be happier about it. Despite the loss of Ray Rice and several other impact players (Eric Foster, Pedro Sosa, Mike Fladell, Jeremy Zuttah, Brandon Renkart, Ron Girault), I have high hopes for Rutgers heading into the year (again), though I’ll keep relatively quiet on it. If you are wondering why I am doing this, simply revisit my previews from last year. Ugh. I’m not even going to reread them, mainly because I already know some of the worst things I said. For one, apparently I thought the Linebacker Fairy was going to visit the new guys from last year and turn inexperienced and/or undersized and/or injured guys into grizzled veterans who knew the defense in and out. Second, I seemed to think there was some kind of vast conspiracy to discredit the all-powerful Rutgers football juggernaut, even though our generally accepted preseason standing (around #16) proved to be absurdly generous in the end. But being embarrassed about days gone by doesn’t really jive with this look ahead, so some thoughts heading into this season coming up just as soon as I rip off TV critic Alan Sepinwall’s blogging format

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Some of you might have heard about this spinoff of The Office that actually isn’t really a spinoff but no one totally knows for sure. The latest is apparently that NBC wants a spinoff, but showrunner Greg Daniels wants to create a separate show. The article I’ve linked, which appears to be written by a reputable person, quotes a “source” as saying, “Daniels is a stubborn, stubborn guy. I bet Greg gets his way.” For the record, I hope he does, because I trust his judgment more than the network’s here. But I also couldn’t help but think…what other Gregs do I know of who are stubborn, hard-headed and always get what they want in the end? Hmm… Read the rest of this entry »

Steve Wewerka, USA today

Steve Wewerka, USA today

I’ve heard you make this statement a couple times, and I’m inclined to disagree. Nick Punto: best athlete on some other team? Maybe. I’m sure it’s true that he can “hit a golf ball to the ends of the earth.” I might have gotten your exact words messed up there; I imagine you’ll forgive me if so. But the best athlete on that team? The one with Joe Mauer? The one with former No. 1 overall pick and arguably current best catcher in the American League, Joe Mauer? The one with two-time All-State high school basketball player, Joe Mauer? The one with the player for whom back-to-back All-State selections in basketball were an afterthought, because he was the National Player of the Year in football and turned down a full ride to play QB for Florida State in order to play baseball…in which, as previously mentioned, he was the #1 overall draft pick, Joe Mauer? Not that team. For that team, the best athlete is clearly Michael Cuddyer.

I know, it has been far too long since my last post. You are all undoubtedly very upset with me, with reason. But I am here to repent and serve you, 41MTF faithful. To show you this mea culpa is for real, I offer some lolcats to cheer you up.

Anyway, as some of you (Tom, Pete, and Sportsattitude come to mind, among others) may remember, last summer I did a write-up on every NFL coaching change of the offseason. There were 7 in all, if I remember correctly. I thought most of the choices contained some level of intrigue (which is different from them being “good”), with Cam Cameron in Miami being the notable exception. (In that case, the on-field results actually matched my interest level at the time.) All in all, it was an interesting undertaking, and I’m glad I did it. Read the rest of this entry »

I hope you guys watched the Turkey-Germany Euro Semifinal match today, because it was one for the ages. This Turkish side, who have become famous this tournament for impossible comebacks, were close to making another one today when they brought the match even at 2-2 in the 86th minute, before losing 3-2 on Lahm’s 89th minute screamer into the l. Of course, we didn’t get to see any of this, because the feed was dropped all over the world due to thunderstorms in Switzerland.

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Dan O\'Halloran

Dan O’Halloran wears No. 13 as a reminder of the night he defied death.

Upon visiting ESPN.com a few minutes ago, I was greeted by a quite different picture, but with the above stirring caption beneath it.

Read the following article, written by ESPN.com’s Scott Burnside, in one of two ways.  The first is an inspiring story of a man persevering and earning a second chance at life.  The second is an account of the above man, Milltown’s own, who apparently has the divine ability to cheat death.

Just concentrate really hard and imagine Dan-O as an apparently immortal hockey referee.

Click here for the article.

The Mets and Yankees just wrapped up a short two game series in which the Mets took both from the Yanks. Friday Night’s game was postponed due to rain which brings up an interesting situation. The game has yet to be rescheduled. A lot of talk has been thrown around about a two-stadium double header during the next Subway Series at Shea, but with television contracts and prime-time scheduling issues it seems that it would have to happen on that Friday. I think this would be a mistake because the first game would have to be an afternoon game at 1pm which nobody would be able to see. On a hunch I checked out both teams schedules and it couldn’t have turned out better. September 11th is an off day for both teams which I believe is absolutely ridiculous. Moving this game to that day would be an unbelievable night for this area. And I think it is definitely plausible. The Mets play in Washington on the 10th and would probably be flying back to New York after the game anyway. The Yankees do play in Anaheim on the 10th but it is an afternoon game and they could definitely make it back that night around midnight local time, 1 or 2 at the latest. For both New York teams to be playing each other in this city on that night would be a classic night. Adding to it would be the late season aspect where the game will probably be very important to both teams who should be right in the thick of divisional races at that point. I think it’s perfect, I’m crossing my fingers.