Have you ever sat down in front of the television, ready to view some good old-fashioned commercials, and suddenly found yourself being assaulted by a barrage of unfamiliar language from a smug repairman who gets his jollies by constantly reminding himself that his years of training give him technical expertise over a child? Because if you have, then you’ve seen the commercial Verizon has been running for their reasonably new service which offers television, internet, and telephone services all over one magical fiber optic cable which should currently be running right along your curb (like an untapped resource of gold, don’t you know!)
So why do I hate this commercial so? Well, as someone very interested in technology, I consider myself to have a grasp on the current jargon as well as most others. This commercial, however, threw me for a loop. I knew that if I didn’t understand what was being said, then very few TV viewers had any idea what they were hearing either. This method of better-than-you marketing felt like a thorn in my side, and I knew I had to do something about it. The American people don’t deserve to be mocked by those trying to sell things to us, so I present to you a guide: What is actually being said in the Verizon FiOS commercial.
I’m going to go through the script chunk by chunk and break down what you have just heard, so feel free to follow along in the video above or just read aloud to yourself (make sure to feign a sense of self-achievement when playing the part of the Verizon guy).
Ext. House, morning. Jeremy Brandt, the Verizon tech, approaches as a little boy, played by Raymond Ochoa, plays on the sidewalk.
Boy: Are you the cable guy?
Man: Actually I’m a Verizon FiOS tech, I bring fiber optics right to your door…
At this point, he has explained to the child more than he needs to know. He is not the cable guy, he works for Verizon. Rather than cable, he installs and repairs a fiber optics network. This information is lost on a child, but don’t think that means he is stopping.
Man: …On three different spectrums of light…
As he quickly begins into the spiel, the child has no doubt glazed over with confusion and boredom, just like most of us at home. Fiber optics, for those who don’t know, is not your usual copper cable. It is a special material where data is transmitted through light. Very important technology, but not really the stuff folks are talking about around the water cooler.
Man: You got your 1310, your 1490, and the 1550.
Hardly anything to brag about here. What he is spouting is the wavelengths of the different lights carrying the various pieces of data. 1310 nm is used for all upstream data that you are sending out to the world, like uploaded photos or your voice on the telephone. 1490 nm is the wavelength allocated for downstream content. That is anything you download to your computer, any incoming voice over the phone, and IPTV. Finally, you have the spectrum used for the television channels, 1550. All of these wavelengths are totally industry standard, and any provider will use the exact same. So why did Verizon feel like they had to run them off quickly here? Because they are big numbers, and when said in rapid succession they create the illusion that something confusing is happening and your only reaction can be “Ooh, fancy, me wanty numbers.” Don’t get sucked in, remember that all these numbers have no real meaning and are nothing out of the ordinary.
Man: And the light is so clean it’s +20 dB hot.
This is the one that still has me on the ropes. Reading this site about fiber optics jargon just leaves me with what I already knew; dB is a unit of measurement for optical power. I believe that they are trying to use this line to brag about the power of their signal because of how clean it all is. That means that with nice splices and no nasty stuff in the wires, there is a lot less data lost on the trip from A to B. No one, and I mean no one, uses to word “hot” in that context. And if they do, they’ve never talked about it on the internet. That seems to be jargon invented by the good people at Verizon to take something that could have been explained nicely or just avoided and turn it into a symbol of their employees functioning on a different level than you.
Man: It’s true QAM (pronounced “kwam,” apparently).
This is the most popular line of the entire commercial. The first time I saw it, his phrasing made me wonder “Is that like the new cool thing people in the IT industry are saying now?” I honestly thought that “True quam, man” was how people in-the-know expressed themselves when they were impressed with something. It’s not.
It is an acronym for Quadrature Amplitude Modulation. I know, now I sound like one of them, but I had to get that out there. Simply put, it’s the common way of transmitting a digital television broadcast. QAM tuners are present in many TVs and make it possible to watch local channels’ HD broadcasts without needing to purchase a set-top box. According to Wikipedia, most digital and HD channels are now being transmitted through QAM. With FiOS, if you choose not to get a set-top box, you will get 15 channels. Hardly worth it if you are paying for everything else, right? I doubt anyone who is getting this new service is neglecting to get anything beyond local broadcasts, so why does this QAM issue even come up if its presence is ultimately trivial? Because, once again, it sounds like something a techie would say. It makes viewers think “Geez, these guys really have their fancy-talk down pat, I sure would like me some quams too.” Don’t be fooled, you are probably already getting “true QAM” without having someone look down their nose to tell you, so forget they even mentioned it.
Kid: (pauses) Nice Truck.
Completely dumbfounded, all the kid can do is be adorable. I know how you feel, Ray. I know how you feel. It’s almost like the good people at Verizon are using a naive child to symbolize us, the viewing public, and to get a cheap laugh out of our confusion. The laugh, of course, is right in your big fat face because you didn’t know what they were talking about.
End scene with insane explosion of light coming out of truck and a choir of angels singing. This symbolizes that the Verizon tech is not a human, but rather a creature sent from heaven above to grace us with his otherwordly knowledge of jargon.
In writing all of this, I do not mean to say that I dislike Verizon FiOS. While I disagree with their tiered internet service, I do admire the speeds that can be achieved, as well as the big push in fiber optical technology that this is bringing about. I also have no problem with Jeremy Brandt, who played the Verizon guy AND was cool enough to upload his own commercial to YouTube (as well as leave comments). I think that takes guts, and he’s just an actor. He isn’t doing anything other than what they told him. The people I have beef with, so to speak, is the advertisers and executives who gave this piece of trash the green light. Trying to outsmart your customers is never a good idea, and making a commercial where you prove your superiority is just downright obnoxious. Even the cutest kid in LA can’t stop this smarmy spot from making me mad every time I see it; but hopefully now the word will spread, and soon we’ll let Verizon know that they can’t make fools of us with their pseudo-jargon! We will rebel not with the sword, but with the blog! Knowledge will be our key in defeating this telecommunications juggernaut once and for all! Who’s with me?
Sorry, but it’s really late and I’m getting all riled up because I’ve got to release some energy before bed. But seriously–now you know, and next time you see this commercial be sure to let everyone in the room know what is up. Spread the good word.
89 comments
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July 13, 2007 at 12:03 pm
David
I think it is cute as is the follow-on commercial when the little boy gives his father the same spiel.
Get some sleep and lighten up already!
June 9, 2009 at 11:51 am
Tony
Tom it’s good you came to your senses…i think you might have been too harsh. Sometimes I get snippy over things like this. My cure is simple…getting laid.
November 13, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Andy, Fios TV
Sometimes when we don’t easily grasp something..we tend to be negative about it..it’s good you came to your senses…FiOS is really something everyone should try.
July 13, 2007 at 1:29 pm
molly
did this commercial bother you that much? how much research did you have to do to find out all of that info, or did you already know it mr. smarty pants.
July 13, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Peter Duffy
Those Verizon nazis. Fuck them.
July 13, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Tom Wright-Piersanti
David – I agree, the kid is cute. And honestly, now that I have gotten some sleep, I feel kind of insane when looking back at it. Let this be a lesson… never start a long blog post after 3 am.
Molly – It does bother me a lot. It really annoys me that they are just trying to sound smarter than you. And I had to do a ton of research, I really didn’t know anything before writing this.
July 15, 2007 at 3:45 pm
ramo
you fucking rule…
true QAM…
peace, love and fiber optics
July 15, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Those annoying Verizon FIOS commercials. : The dish
[…] qualm” (whatever the bleep that is), set off my BS detector. And it turns out that I’m not alone. Turns out that Tom Wright-Piersanti thought the commercial was a little too slick, and he had […]
July 17, 2007 at 8:50 am
mike
I’d like to see a takeoff where at the end, the kid says:
”Nice f*ckin; truck!”
July 18, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Zach
Ever since I first saw that commercial I’ve wanted to kick that kid in the face for no reason.
July 23, 2007 at 1:20 pm
John
Tom,
What the (*&(& is your problem? Were you abandoned as a child? Get some help and lighten up.
I think the problem may be you are jealous since the kid has more intelligence than you do….
July 23, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Glenn Davis
If you get that worked up over a blog post made ten days ago by a guy who has already admitted in this very comments section that he felt a bit possessed while doing it, I think that brings into question about who REALLY needs to lighten up.
July 23, 2007 at 2:19 pm
ED
well, I for one agree that the commercial is a little demeaning to the customer, and expect to dazzle us with terms we don’t understand. The true qam thing had me stumped. I consider myself somewhat technologically aware, BUT I WAS A LITTLE CONFUSED. Now, thanks to this blog, it all makes sense. All in all, TWC has a commercial that refutes the FIBER commercials. I still don’t see that Verizon is able to offer phone, cable, and internet on the “same” line, at least not i Newburgh NY. They are coupled with Dish providers so I’d just as soon stay with cable, though I am no fan of the cable company insane pricing.
July 24, 2007 at 8:21 am
Greg Meade
The dB if actually a logarithmic ratio, so it does not measure absolute power, but rather, as your “nice splice and no nasty stuff” comment implies, it measures the level to which their signal is “louder” than the background ambient noise of the cosmos, and therefore of better qualtity. And don’t we all, really, want to stand out in the cosmos? Thank God we live in a country where we have the time and forum to express our concerns about issues such as these.
And I think we should change “quadrature” to mean “having to sign everything four times” like at a real estate closing.
July 24, 2007 at 9:29 pm
RJL
Tom,
Great work on this one. I have seen that commercial way more than I care too and every time it drives me nuts. I completely agree about the lack of respect and quality that comes out of advertising agencies. Thanks for the great post.
July 24, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Dave
Tom,
I was just as irritated as you were, if not more, at this commercial. As an electrical engineer I knew right away that they were slinging BS and trying to dazzle the audience.
That kind of thing really gets me worked up. If Verizon wants to talk about fiber optics it can be done in a way that is not patronizing.
So a big “FU” to Verizon. I won’t be buying any of your services any time soon.
July 25, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Jim
In my office I watch “Mike & the Mad Dog,” a sports-talk radio show simulcast on the YES network, the one owned by the Yankees. They air this commercial somewhere between six and nine times EVERY HOUR. At one point yesterday, they aired this ad, then a station promo, then they aired the FIOS ad AGAIN. Twice in less than two minutes. I’m about ready to crawl through that TV and strangle that kid.
Actually, the commercial now is a lot worse. Now they air Part II, where the kid goes into the house and tells his dad that no, he wasn’t talking to the cable guy, but the Verizon FIOS tech, and then proceeds to repeat everything the tech said.
July 26, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Larry
I think we have to make a distinction. As entertainment this commercial is pretty good. But a commercial is not just entertainment, it is trying to convey a message, and often one beneath the surface. This commercial says nothing about how or why to order FiOS, or even what service it provides. So I think the criticism is valid, since the subtle message is that Verizon can get you to a heavenly place (the light and angelic voices) which is totally beyond your ability to reach by yourself.
July 27, 2007 at 11:27 am
shimonbentzvi
what is this kid’s name and who is his agent?
July 27, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Joe
As a techie, I noticed two things:
Thing 1) Most peolpe who AREN’T techies or don’t consider themselves techies… well… they don’t even NOTICE when the actor says “True QAM”. Just ask ’em.
Thing 2) I didn’t know what “True QAM” was and looked it up. Having the answer, I noticed that the European nations get better bandwidth as a standard than the US does. In the US, the choice for providers is 64 bit or 256 bit QAM while overseas will never get the “low grade” 64 bit offering.
I will wager, however, that with the “20db hot” comment, we’re getting 64bit from Verizon.
So, when that FIOS tech shows up, instead of acting like a glazed over and enamored child, refer to the true QAM of the ad and ask the FIOS tech if it’s 64 or 256bit. Don’t forget to put your nose up when your local FIOS tech doesn’t even know what QAM is .
And yes, I hate the cable provider, but Verizon’s 5MB is more than 6 times the bandwidth of the 800k downstream I get from them for less money per month.
July 27, 2007 at 3:02 pm
hominem odi
kick-ass post Tom. all you assholes who say ‘lighten up’ to the author – eat shit. it’s because of passive and all-accepting attitudes of asswipes like you, everything is so shitty in this country despite such an unbelievable potential it has. assholes.
July 27, 2007 at 10:15 pm
George
[proudly] I knew what QAM was after some pondering without any research. But thanks for clarifying the allocation of wavelength multiplexing, and how the QAM is used on the TV service portion.
Well, now that annoying little blurb is put to rest.
Knew someone would address it on the web. And you did. Thanks.
July 29, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Jacob
@ John
Hey: Fuck you! If you think you’re smarter than Tom get your own fucking blog to complain on, dickhead.
July 29, 2007 at 10:26 pm
RoeLuv
I would like to spread ‘true qam’ as slang word within’ the world of HipHop ,now all i need is Jay Z to put it in a rhyme and i’m halfway there.
July 30, 2007 at 8:54 am
lstrblg » FiOS dissected
[…] I found this post, which totally eviscerated the commercial at a level I could scarecely approach. Well done, […]
July 31, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Alex
That kid is SOOO FCKING ANNOYING in both ads. He has the irritating qualities of Rudy Huxtable, Olivia Huxtable, the Smart Guy, that ugly red head girl from Growing Pains, and the kid from Jerry McGuire all rolled into one.
I have to agree with comment 7 above…”…you got your 1310, your…” WHAMMMO! – scissor kick to the face!
August 2, 2007 at 8:34 am
Gary McGath
Don’t these people know the difference between “spectrums” and “frequencies”? I don’t mind technobabble, but it should be intelligent technobabble.
August 2, 2007 at 8:37 am
rob sama
Nice work. Those ads have irritated me to no end as well. Glad someone put in the effort that you did here.
August 2, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Billg
Because I liked The Slowskys, I opted for Comcast.
I think the Slowskys (Bill and Karolyn) are true QAM!
August 2, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Gayle
Thanks – I, too, was bothered by the jargon (and the fact that I didn’t understand it!) I found QAM on Wiki, but you explained all the rest. Thanks again.
PS I agree, the kid is annoying too!
August 3, 2007 at 9:32 am
mikw
Really there is only one spectrum of light made up of many wavelengths.
Some people say there is the visible spectrum and the UV spectrum and the Infrared spectrum but essentially it is all from the electromagnetic spectrum and only differ by wavelength.
The wavelengths rattled off in the commercial are all in the infrared, so either way you look at it , it is one spectrum of light.
August 3, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Kevin
First of all, thak you for putting this together and trying to do a little bit to keep the suits honest (for my part, I hold the advertizing company more responsible than Verizon).
Also, I just wanted to vent about the part of the commercial that drives me crazy. It’s the “three different spectrums of light” line. Last time I checked, there was only one electromagnetic spectrum. “Three different WAVELENGTHS of light” would have been perfectly acceptable.
You’d think that _someone_ involved in the production of this commercial might have said to themselves “I’ve got no idea what any of this stuff means,” (as, clearly, no one involved did) “maybe I should have someone who does know what they’re talking about read it over and make sure it makes sense”.
Alas, it seems like they just shrugged their shoulders and said, “Oh well, none of the viewers will understand it either. They’ll just be dazzled with all the jargon.”
Sigh.
August 4, 2007 at 4:32 am
dsaklad@gnu.org
Verizon customer service overseas call centers have many obstacles for callers to overcome when you would want to speak to someone with verizon in north america.
August 4, 2007 at 3:17 pm
eospd
great research.
the reason some of you want to strangle, kick, slap, etc. the kid is that you didn’t know what QAM was. it’s called cognitive dissonance.
the thing is, advertisers are supposed to AVOID cognitive dissonance. maybe they are trying reverse psychology?
I don’t know what smug-ass ad exec pulled the trigger on this one, but they deserve to be sent to some gulag in Podunk. imho.
August 5, 2007 at 9:34 am
kc4dc
I totally hate those ads, adding to my previous hatred of Verizon. I hate Verizon, and I hate their stupid Fios ads. I just turn the channel or mute the TV. I refuse to listen. Considering they air those ads 10,000 times a day, most of the time I just turn the TV off.
My previous years being a Verizon customer made me realize that their customer service reps cannot understand simple English when it is spoken to them. Now I see their advertisers cannot speak simple English either.
I will never be a Verizon customer again. EVER. I hate Verizon.
August 5, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Mark Mink
I think the little boy looks like he got hit in the face with a shovel.
August 8, 2007 at 5:26 am
Joanne
Are you kidden me? It’s just a commercial and the Kid is absoulutly adorable! I cant wait to see the next one its right up there with the slowski’s turtle commercial, gotta luv it!
August 9, 2007 at 8:51 am
Dave
+20 dB hot means the incoming signal strength is 20dB higher. Higher than what you ask? Could be several things. 0 dB, which is used as a reference point, or in reference to another channel’s signal strength (your 1410), or in reference to the transmitted signal’s strength. Bottom line, + 20 dB hot is a sentence fragment and is not something a tech would usually say.
August 9, 2007 at 10:16 am
Coopster
Geez. And this is an issue?
One reader got it right; dB (decibel) is a -relative- measure of differences. But it’s not stated in dBm (millivolt, for example) that will tell you absolutes.
QAM; no big deal. Just another (sorry about this) method of creating whats called “signal constellation” or what we can visualize as method to reconstruct the (in this case) light pulses (bits, if you will) into a useable coherent data stream.
But apparently, if AT&T has the “chutzpah”, they can come back with a commercial that has the same kid retort: “Yeah. Whatever. Just see if you can get the damn thing to work this month.”
August 10, 2007 at 9:59 am
Tiffany
Well I love the second commercial with the little boy saying all the stuff. He is adorable!
August 10, 2007 at 3:28 pm
J Alabi
The commercials are cute, the content is confusing/misleading, as Tom has broken down for everybody, above. Good job, Tom. You are true QAM!
August 10, 2007 at 5:56 pm
barbara doane
I want to know who the kid is in the fios commercial. He looks like he could be mark addy’s son
August 10, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Kevin
I think it is sad that the kid can say all that and act as if he understands it. He looked robotic in the way he was running and then stopped to say the spiel. Can’t kids be kids anymore?
August 13, 2007 at 9:24 pm
Rich
OH MAN, you need a vacation chalk up to living in the United States…….We live in a country with a free enterprise system they’ll use any tactic to sell their products, if you don’t like don’t buy it….it’s really not worth a rant.
Thank God for America.
August 14, 2007 at 9:04 am
Steve
Excellent dissection, Tom. As an engineer in the fiber industry, there were a LOT of things in the Verizon commercials that made me cringe. Most of them have been discussed, but there is one I wanted to address in particular.
QAM, as was stated, is Quadrature Amplitude Modulation. The problem with that is transmitting amplitude modulated signals through a fiber doesn’t work very well with a “20 dB hot” signal, assuming that they are talking about 20 dBm (which, as someone correctly pointed out, is an absolute level, where 20 dB is a relative one.) Pumping more than about 16 or 17 dBm of amplitude modulated light into a fiber longer than a few hundred meters, causes serious second order intermodulation products which can render the QAM signal at the other end useless.
With that being said, I am sure that their laser is at least “20 dB hot”, as Verizon’s FIOS architecture requires that the 1550 nm and 1490 nm wavelengths be split many times before they exit the central office on their way to your house. By the time they reach your house, they are nowhere near “20 dB hot,” more like 0 to -10 dBm.
Lastly, True QAM? Puleese! As opposed to what? Fake QAM? QAM has been in existence pretty much as long as there have been digital signals. Basically, all it is is a method of transmitting symbols that represent bits. In its simplest form, QPSK (Quadrature Phase Shift Keying – essentially 4 QAM without the amplitude changes), the phase vector of the signal represents 1 of 4 different sets of bits: 00, 01, 10, and 11. Adding amplitude changes to the phase shifts allows you to send more symbols, which can represent longer bit sets. 16 QAM, for instance, can represent 16 bit sets, 0000 to 1111. The two most common downstream QAM rates are 64 and 256. Using 6 MHz of bandwidth, 64 QAM can carry about 27 Mbps, 256 QAM can carry about 40 Mbps.
August 14, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Chris
The “20 dB hot” refers to the RF (radio frequency) signal coming off of the video/MoCA (Multimedia over Coax Alliance) port on the ONT (Optical Network Terminal). It’s not referring to the light itself. With typical cable providers, you’re lucky if you get 0 dB coming into your house. By comparison, Verizon’s signal is “hot” and/or strong.
And Joe, FYI, it’s 256-QAM. I should know since, if haven’t already guessed it, “I’m a Verizon FiOS tech”! lol
All of my subscribers love the commercials BTW. If the general public finds the kid adorable, so be it. It’s selling our product, which is the intent, duh.
August 16, 2007 at 2:10 pm
betty
I love that little boy you have doing the fiber optic advertisement he is the cutiest little boy. I could watch it a thousand times a day. I don’t think the play it enough. I get the biggest smile on my face when I see it.
I would like to know how old he is.
August 16, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Steve
Chris said: “The “20 dB hot” refers to the RF (radio frequency) signal coming off of the video/MoCA (Multimedia over Coax Alliance) port on the ONT (Optical Network Terminal). It’s not referring to the light itself. ”
Well, I guess that just makes it another case of Verizon being misleading in their commercial, then. Specifically, the tech says, “And the light is so clean it’s +20 dB hot.”
Notice: not the RF is so clean, but the light is so clean.
Also, unless you are using something different than the Tellabs 1600 series ONT, which is what Verizon is using in most places, you are getting 18 dBmv out according to the published specs, not 20. Another interesting item in the Tellabs 1600 ONT spec is that the video output is AM-VSB, not QAM.
http://www.tellabs.com/products/library.cfm?find=1600
“With typical cable providers, you’re lucky if you get 0 dB coming into your house. ”
Just not true. Most cable providers provide 0 dBmv minimum(not dB) at the SET, not into the house. This is part of the FCC requirements. Into the house, the signal level generally runs about 8 to 12 dBmv.
August 17, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Tom Wright-Piersanti
Thanks a lot Steve, it’s good to have you on here clearing things up. And we finally got a comment from a real FiOS tech, Chris! A big thanks to everyone writing all these legitimate jargon-filled comments, I love reading them.
Also, I just found out a friend of mine’s dad is a Verizon FiOS tech, so if I can build up the guts to ask him, I might be able to get an interview out of it. But don’t expect too much, she’s going back to school and I don’t really plan on hanging out with him alone.
To everyone asking, the kid’s name is Raymond Ochoa. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2358105/
Adorable.
August 19, 2007 at 8:31 pm
ROSANNE LETTERESE
ALL YOU NEGATIVE PEOPLE. WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER SEE, THE CAVEMEN? THIS LITTLE BOY IS ADORABLE AND I COULD WATCH THIS COMMERICAL ALL DAY. IT DOESN’T DEMEAN OUR KNOWLEDGE BUT GIVES US KNOWLEDGE ON THE NEW TECHNOLOGY. WHAT IS THIS BOY’S NAME?
WILL BE BE DOING OTHER COMMERCIALS?
August 19, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Mark Mink
LOL at Mark Addy’s son. Yeah, this poor kid got dealt a lousy hand looks-wise. Luckily, he does commercials so he should still be able to land a hot girl when he gets older. If he was a normal Joe Blow like us, he’d be screwed.
August 22, 2007 at 8:55 am
Judas
Hello Everyone,
I have to agree with Tom; Both Verizion fios commercials are annoying. I personally find the kid’s father most annoying. He reflects a stereotype big advertisers want to enforce upon us: Most men are stupid, unless they look like GQ models, most women are smarter than their husbands/boyfriends, and most kids are cute and smarty pants. The father with his open mouth in dull amazement fits in the 1st category.
From a technological point of view, the US is overdue for communication/entertainment over fiber-optics. Fiber-optics have been around for two decades. They should have been readily accessible to everyone by now.
Having said that, we need true competition, and not let Verizon play alone the monopoly game.
My 2 cents: I think all telecom companies in the US are stiffing us.
After their ROI is paid off (R&D, Implementation, etc..) they keep their prices high until they lose count of their billions. Just ask James Cox Kennedy.
August 22, 2007 at 11:54 am
Jesus
Verizon Man: Your mom’s totally hot, kid. Like +20 dB and s***.
Dad: Let me introduce you to her. Maybe you can cream her QAM. Son, go get the gin and then go to your room.
August 23, 2007 at 12:38 am
TommytheCat05
roseanne sucks
August 24, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Raymond Polone
Maybe the kid could get his mouth washed out with soap like in the ssr commercial?
http://ssrfanatic.3guysonline.com/soap.mov
August 28, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Bill
1st of all Verizon uses 256 Qam and their HD channels are not compressed.
2nd the 20 db hot is really dbmv out of the 75 ohm connector, and while most Ont’s run at around 18db, I have seen some hotter. Why is this important, because it is at your house, the cable companies typically have about 14dbmv at the pole, then you lose signal strength coming over the coax, and going through the splitter. Thats alot of loss when you go through a coax drop, and the reason so many people have picture quality problems.
3rd some marketing company made the commercial, and I doubt than anyone with technical experience was involved. The idea is to sell the product.
4th I never knew there were so many genius’s in the world.
September 1, 2007 at 11:03 am
Chris
I actually got +22.0 out of a Tellabs 612 the other day. But typically it does run around 18 +/- 1.5
September 1, 2007 at 11:37 am
Jeff
Actually, what Verizon does is not much different than any other marketing effort. Confuse the customer to the point they think they are getting something special. I have a cable circut which works fine. It’s VERY fast and has been quite stable for the 5 years I’ve had it, going down only 3 times and never more than about an hour.
But, my local cable company doesn’t throw out terms like True QAM, the spectrum numbers and 20db Hot. Verizon happens to be pushing FIOS in my area and even the sales reps running around in the neighborhood can’t really explain it. They are banking on making the customer think they are getting something so much better than their current cable connection they’ll switch to FIOS without a second thought.
How many car commercials have you seen that throw out fancy terms related to traction control and such that leave the typical driver wondering if they were absent too many times during science class?
Fact is, this is marketing BS, nothing more. One side of me likes the commercial because it is cute, but the other consumer advocate side of me can’t stand what they’re doing with it. But, as has always been the case, an informed buyer won’t get burnt, or not as badly.
All that said, FIOS is a nice product if it’s a good fit for you. Just happend that it wasn’t for me for technical reasons I won’t bore anyone with.
September 5, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Andrea
I would like to see Raymond Ochoa in a lot of commercials and maybe his own sitcom.To those here that hate him,has life become all that grim? Smile,even if it hurts your face.
September 6, 2007 at 6:20 pm
rico
OK “20db Hot” well I work for a cable company and even though we all push “20 dbs” we still have to filter it down to something that the equpment can handle i.e. 10-15db.
yep the commerical is cute but its very misleading, me and my co-workers make fun of this commercial all the time.
September 17, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Paul
I cannot STAND that friggin’ kid! And shame on VZ for trying to sell their services by luring in customers when using this so-called “adorable”???? kid. I also recall seeing him doing a commercial for Hallmark a few months ago…little shit!
September 18, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Patricia
I think this little boy, Raymond, has a future in whatever he may choose to do. Why all the fuss? He’s adorable. Hope Verizon continues to promote him.
September 20, 2007 at 11:09 pm
kidkiller
all i want to do,
is take that sweet faced,
little angel,
and toss him into a fucking wood-chipper,
(cupping my ears for the screams)
yum,
September 20, 2007 at 11:52 pm
Tom Wright-Piersanti
Sometimes, the most beautiful poetry isn’t in some book. It’s in the comments on some little blog. The post above this one proves it.
Beautiful stuff, man.
September 21, 2007 at 12:34 pm
lori
Does anyone happen to know the name of the actor who plays the father (the hot one) in the Fios commercials? He is smokin!
September 21, 2007 at 1:36 pm
adam
As for the Verizon commercial, and commercials in general, I consider them to be either 1) entertainment or 2) a reason for fast-forwarding, muting, or leaving the room.
I am certainly not influenced/persuaded to purchase anything by a commercial, nor do I expect to receive accurate information from them. I do my own research on products/services, and certainly hope all of you do the same.
As for the boy, Raymond Ochoa, have you noticed that the guys can’t stand him and the females think he’s cute? Hmm.
For a young child (hasn’t lost any of his baby teeth yet), he does a great job!
Anyone who criticizes his looks, should look again; you’ll be seeing a lot more of him in the future: a sitcom and a movie are already completed.
I consider the first and second Verizon FiOs commercials pure entertainment! Love to watch them! In fact, I thought a caught a glimpse of a third. Can’t wait.
(Agree, though, that we’ve had enough of the ‘dumb father’ character.)
Consider this: people wait months to see the Super Bowl commercials (and companies spend obscene money paying for them), why? Certainly not for information. It’s all entertainment!
P.S. My son happens to be a Verizon FiOs tech, so I hear many ‘installation stories’ as well as technical details; but I did read a lot of good research here, and lots of technical knowledge.
November 27, 2007 at 10:17 am
E
I always wondered what all the jargon meant. Thanks for sharing this. So glad I found it. I’m with you Tom! Rock on brother!
December 7, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Lizzie
I’m from the old nanosecond days.
I’m sure you’d say I’ve lost it. All I can say is what a bunch
of stick in the muds.
The commercial was entertaining and quite funny. Guess
it should have been his mom instead of dad and you would
have seen the humor of it.
It’s only a commercial. Don’t take life so serious.
December 10, 2007 at 2:48 pm
B-man
LOL!
I don’t know which reply is funnier, 61) Kidkiller or 62)Tom’s reply to number 61. HAHAHA!!!!!
So many funny entries. Thanks everyone for the laughs.
Most importantly, thanks Tom for the research. I knew all along that I couldn’t stand the commercials because my BS Detector was in full tilt. They are trying to “wow” the unsuspecting viewers into buying something which they THINK they need/want but have absolutely no knowledge of what it is.
December 22, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Kat
Well, I must say this is interesting. I googled “FIOS ‘Should see his truck”, found the actor’s name (Raymond Ochoa) and this blog.
I was a Verizon phone customer (not my choice) for years. Horrible. I am now a Verizon FIOS customer for ISP, TV & phone. Wonderful. Verizon seems to have figured out customer service for FIOS at least.
FIOS Internet connection has never, ever been unavailable in nearly two years. Cable was out every time there was any bad weather, and sometimes when there wasn’t.
As far as the commercial goes – if you pay any attention to most commercials you will find that tehy use words to create desire. Desire for good things, desire for special things, desire for truly unnecessary things. I don’t see this commercial as particularly different. I agree that most viewers aren’t even paying attention to the techno-babble. To them it sounds like the adults in a Charlie Brown TV special blah-blah-blah. Only techno-geeks (and I am one) are curious enough to figure out that the techno-babble, in this case, truly is babble.
February 26, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Pete
What the F$%K is wrong with you people??? Get over it and move on. Does it make you feel so powerful to sit and blab about decibels and wavelengths of light? Oh, you are sooooo superior to VZ’s ads!!! ..Listen I’ll tell you all one thing, I live in the New York area and FIOS is FAR better than any cable offering. Go outside and see the sun , have fun. Peace.
April 29, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Alex Reynolds
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Its Verizon who should be sued for their incessant fios commercials. As a matter of fact, Ive called cablevision asking them to pull all fios commercials off the air. This is the same big bad pots company that wanted to have voip rates increased and one of the companies being sued for wiretapping us. Their fios commercials are misleading because in no way, shape or form is fios internet better than cable. I get 30mbps cable and verizon cant match that. Even if they could, I have serious ethical and privacy issues with them. Anyone interested in democracy should NEVER choose Verizon.
June 9, 2008 at 7:24 pm
the_light_the_way
I like the commercial because it affirms how smart I am and how stupid everyone else is–everyone who believes that the jargon means anything, those who thought up the concept, and those who wrote the commercial and picked the words to use.
If my Verizon tech had tried to use that language on me, I would have laughed him out of the neighborhood.
I have been dealing with QAM since the ’80s. Your basic low-tech fax machine uses QAM. (And you pronounce the letters. You show your ignorance by saying “kwam,” just as you do by calling the box in front of you a “‘puter” or by typing an “earl” into your browser.)
“+20 dB hot” is even less meaningful. It’s not even a measure of absolute power. The missing verbiage is “+20 dB compared to _____.” If you don’t compare it to something, like a milliwatt, it means nothing.
It’s even worse when you realize that the light is converted to plain old electrical energy on coax cable at your house (using your electricity by the way) JUST like the cable or satellite company uses.
Now what would have been interesting to point out in the commercial is not that they used 3 different frequencies of light, but that they managed to put it all on a SINGLE fiber cable. Back in the day, we needed two fibers, one for sending and one for receiving. Another interesting point is that they use NO interim amplifiers, boosters, splitters, or any other electronic equipment between the central office and your house. How many times have you called your cable company to report an outage, only to find out that an amplifier had failed or that they were “rebalancing” the network?
That kind of stuff would have “wowed” me. Does it “wow” you?
September 27, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Joenhre
What annoys me more than anything about these FIOS commercials is seeing them on a local channel, knowing that they don’t even offer the service here.These ads are being shown on local channels here, a metro area of over 5 million people.Problem is Verizon is only offering their FIOS internet service to about 400,000 households, and the FIOS tv service to even less.I also know from reading around the net that Verizon has no plans on offering their FIOS service here anytime soon.
Yet they “throw” these FIOS commercials in our faces everyday.Knowing full well that we are stuck with Comcast, or some some inferior slow DSL service for broadband and either Comcast, Directv, or Dish Network and their inferior channel lineups.
So my final word to Verizon regarding FIOS is this,
either put up or SHUT UP!
October 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Professor Daniel Jackson
The default dB rate out of the ONT is not set in stone, it can be tweaked up by the techs in the field. I saw the before and after on the techs Fluke DSP RF meter.
Our FiOS has been tweaked to about 22db.
The more televisions, the more signal lose thus why the techs have the ability to make adjustments at the ONT. We have 7 jacks in use with some long runs. Some people may just have one or two in use with shorter runs.
The ONT we have is a Motorola. Different central offices get different suppliers in order to keep some competitive bidding going on among the suppliers. A few towns over the ONT is made by TelLabs.
October 19, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Professor Daniel Jackson
The Verizon FiOS TV modulation mode is QAM 256. This can be verified in the Motorola set-top box field diagnostics menu under the “In Band Diagnostics” item.
December 12, 2008 at 3:20 am
CJ
I LOOOOVE THIS COMMERCIAL. IT IS SOOOO ADORABLE.
and the other one where the kid says all the fancy stuff too
December 29, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Tommy B
To Professor Daniel Jackson:I’m a fios installer in Staten Island NY and we use Tellabs 612 ont’s. Using Sunrise Cm750 RF meters,I’ve never seen any RF level above 15.5db at the ont. And where the HD channels start in the bandwith(channel 126 of the meter),we’re lucky if we get 10db.This is with the 1550nm light reading of about -2.0.How exactly did the tech tweak the RF level to 22db without adding an amplifier after the ont?
January 15, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Joe
All of these (FIOS & Optimum) commercials have gone way too far. I believe these commercials must be connected to some sort of government (our tax dollars) program.
Seriously, how many times do these annoying commercials run throughout the day? if they were paying what MOST advertisers pay – they would be out of money. Gotta be a government anti-monopoly program of some sort???
I simply turn the TV OFF whenever they come on. Seriously, I don’t care if I’m in the middle of a favorite program – if any of these stupid commercials comes on – the TV goes OFF.
Do you hear that, all you other advertisers? I don’t mind a few ads – I’m all for actors, musicians, camera folks, directors, producers working but this nonsense has got to be some government program run amok. No way I’m gonna patronize this type of marketing!
Keep running those commercials and I’ll keep turning my TV OFF. In fact, I might just drop the cable thing altogether – I’m finding more and more programs on the internet anyway and they don’t devote 1/3 of the watch time to annoying commercials.
January 18, 2009 at 5:56 pm
corey
I am in complete agreement with you. It makes me mad that I have FIOS. I agree with the fact that it is better, but I am not going to start smelling my own farts. This marketing campaign makes me want to fuckstart that smug Verizon guy’s face.
I find the same hatred for that UPS cock smack. I will go with FedEx everyday of the week even if it costs me more. I mean get a haircut you smug hippy. Same thing with McDonald’s. They have a false sense of importance with given the world shitty food. I’m not loving any of it.
February 22, 2009 at 9:35 pm
BIT RATE » Blog Archive » AT&T Cools Itself Off
[…] and so does Verizon, though its inscrutable ads touting the FiOS "true QAM" seem to imply a QAM is something cable doesn’t have. Hmmm. Isn’t imitation the sincerest form of […]
December 6, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Bill Prast
MR. Tom Wright-Piersanti
~YOU ARE SPOT ON ~
You took the time to write up an accurate description of this Jargon BS commercial.
For us in the cable and telecommunications business this commercial makes my blood boil.
Thanks
-Bill
February 14, 2010 at 12:29 pm
marty robinson
Yeah I hate verizon also I work for Comcast in the sales department and have friends and x fellow coworkers calling me from time to time tell me how verizon is stealing money from them and having them sign paper work telling them it obtains to another matter but what the paper work really says is that they are going to cut their pay or commissions . Someone else I know had verizon tell them they were to paid certain commissions for an extra month it amounted to close to ten thousand dollars they were never paid this money and his contact blamed it up the chain of command and was never paid .
April 26, 2011 at 3:57 am
ks fiber optic
What annoys me more than anything about these FIOS commercials is seeing them on a local channel, knowing that they don’t even offer the service here.These ads are being shown on local channels here, a metro area of over 5 million people.Problem is Verizon is only offering their FIOS internet service to about 400,000 households, and the FIOS tv service to even less.
July 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm
IGnatius T Foobar
Actually, in the world of fiber optics we *do* use the word “hot” to refer to an optical signal that has a high light level. We’ll say things like “that signal is too hot; we’ve got to put an attenuator on it” or things like that.
And by the way … +20 dBm is *exceptionally* hot. That’s probably the level at the transmit side of the head end (at a device in the central office called an Optical Line Terminal). After going through miles of fiber optic cable and then being split across up to 32 subscribers, the signal will lose quite a bit of strength, so they do need to launch it at a very high level.
I’ve been a Verizon FiOS subscriber for two years now. The service is extremely good and I would recommend it to *anyone* who has it available to them. It beats the pants off cable.
July 6, 2012 at 2:28 am
Santiago,Chile pictures
Dumb TV AD also QAM modulation even works over COFDM modulations over air, if a technician comes with a white box called spectrum analyzer and test your signal by errors of modulation or bitrate then just there can consider to the guy an expert also ATT u verse uses DVB-IPTV over broadband internet in other words an cable channel streaming over your television .also that technology is European
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